Stick with the People Who Appreciate You

For the sake of your own mental health, it's very important that you surround yourself with people who respect and accept you for your virtues and flaws, without trying to mold you to their own desires.

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

It’s not always easy to fit in in this complex world. It’s even harder to find people who complement your rough edges, your empty spaces, support your values, and appreciate you for who you are, sticking around as faithful companions throughout your entire life.

So, when you find those kinds of people, people who have seen your worst side and still help you try to be better, you should hold onto them. Stick with the people who make you smile when they’re around, people that you appreciate for their own individual beauty too.

Although it might not seem this simple, there’s usually more than just one person who can shine a light in your dark moments. They’re the kinds of people who know what they have and when they have it. We’re not talking just about romantic relationships, either.

In life, we all need friends, family, and partners to respect and understand us. Not only do you need to love yourself and strengthen your self-esteem every day, you also need a good social network to surround yourself with.

Stick with people who encourage you to be better

People who stop you from changing will put up walls to slow down your personal growth. No one is perfect. But if there’s one thing basic to human beings, it’s our ability to overcome, to learn every day, to absorb new lessons.

• Let people who enrich you enter your life. Go with them and make space for your own personal growth.
• If you want to become better, you need to be aware of your mistakes and your limitations. Ultimately, you can only achieve this by being humble.
• Stick with someone who gives you a good example instead of judging, criticizing, or punishing you. The kind of person who can help you face your fears, relieve your anxiety, walk more confidently through life.

Stick with people who truly appreciate your place in their daily life

You’ve probably heard something along the lines of how it’s important to “avoid attachments” or “avoid needing someone” at some point. But be objective here, the simple truth is that there are certain people in life that you need in order to be happy.

• You need to know how to differentiate between needing to have people you love by your side, versus wanting to “make them” who you want them to be, limiting their freedom, their ability to choose, and their personal growth.
• People that need you also should know how to respect you.  You are indispensable in a lot of people’s lives, but that means you need to offer respect and love without smothering them.  This type of love enriches.
• Stay with people that show you you’re important to them every day; these people can make you happy without needing to impose, control, or mistrust you.

Stick with people who give you light on dark days

I’m sure that you have someone in your life, either a family member or friend, who, whenever you go to them with a problem, just brings up your mistakes and all the things you’ve done wrong in life. But you wanted their advice, or their help.

• Some people are capable of simply further humiliating you, rather than giving you answers. This is what you should avoid. When something goes wrong in your life, choose wisely who you turn to for support, even if it’s just to listen.
• Some people will listen to you and respect you. These kinds of people know how to show openness and empathy.
• Stick with people that get close to you instead of judging you all the time. These people are capable of putting themselves in your shoes, so that they can understand you better.
• Don’t let the go of the people who know how to make you calm during dark days, and comfort you when you feel alone.

Stay with people who offer solid commitment, whose emotions don’t change overnight

For some people, stability, respect, and commitment don’t have any purpose.  These people show all sorts of affection, love, and respect one day, and then the next all they show is indifference.

You could experience this not only with your partner, but with your family members as well.  They show unstable emotions and a lack of emotional maturity.

• No one has the right to make you a thousand promises one day and then take them away the next, as if you had no feelings.  That’s one of the most destructive and toxic kind of relationships, and its a clear sign of the kind of people who don’t truly appreciate you. So, don’t make room for them in your life, protect yourself.
• Stay with people who show emotional maturity and are stable in their affections, feelings, and words from day to day.
• As people, we all need security. Surround yourself with people that don’t change their minds from day to day. Stick with people who show they appreciate you through their commitment, and their actions, and keep the promises they make.