Solitude that is freely chosen, well managed, and enjoyed improves your health and well-being.
There are some who see this in a bad light since it goes against our social foundations and the natural connection that’s so characteristic in human beings. However, there’s something we can’t forget: it’s good for people to be by themselves.
Time alone helps us keep in touch with our internal world, thoughts and emotions. Those who are like this face stressful and anxiety causing situations much better. As a result, this alone time promotes a solid personality.
Science has tried to study people who embrace alone time and outline their characteristics.
Healthy, cathartic, and beneficial solitude is something that works as “a moment to unplug.” This behavior isn’t trying to escape or avoid people. It also doesn’t neglect building bonds that are significant.
Being able to take refuge in your shell from time to time is healthy. Plus, it has a positive impact on your well-being.
Today, we want to show you what science says about this.
Using alone time to achieve personal fullness
The book Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto, by Anneli Rufus, tells us that almost 25% of the population is characterized by this trait. These people enjoy being alone and really enjoy their own company.
“Solitude sometimes is the best society, and short retirement urges sweet return.”
However, society itself has always labeled them with various adjectives. Most of these adjectives are rather negative: antisocial, losers, elitists, or even egotistical…
It’s common to not be confident in these people. This is because they do things like take a week alone and disconnect from everything and everyone.
Plus, a person who doesn’t have a partner and says, “I’m happy this way” is seen with concern.
How can someone be happy if they aren’t sharing their life with someone else?
What benefit is there when one mind doesn’t exchange ideas with another? Is there any joy when someone chooses silence before conversation? Can you enjoy keeping your emotions in and not sharing a sofa, bed, a walk, or a meal?
These are usually the most common doubts that polar opposite people have. They see life through the lens of extroversion that looks for constant social stimulus. They always look for company and always seek out others’ support.
Science, however, says something different.
Spending time alone doesn’t mean you’re running away from the world
Doctor Birk Hagemeye at the University of Jena, Turingia (Germany) has developed a scale with his colleagues. This scale measures your level so social activity, connection with others, and your desire for solitude.
Something that we said at the beginning is that when we talk about solitude, it can have different focuses.
- One of them is the neurotic person who only looks for solitude out of necessity because they don’t know how to socialize. They also don’t know how to be drawn out by their environment, other people, or stimuli.
- On the other end of the spectrum, there are people who enjoy specific moments with themselves. And at the same time, they don’t run away from anyone or anything. They just want to be and explore their own thoughts.
Thus, the so-called “ABC of Social Desires” has allowed for a little deeper understanding of this profile by showing people the following:
- Those who enjoy spending time alone are better at regulating their mood. Plus, they have fewer “explosions” from bad moods, discomfort, frustration, etc…
- People who enjoy their alone time usually have a more open mind. They are more original, curious and imaginative.
- Their social trait, as striking as it might seem, is likable. They’re closer and usually show more empathy.
- By going deeper in their personal universe, they know how to better recognize the external needs, fears, and concerns.
- Another aspect that stands out in this scale is that it allows them to define their personal trait more. They are better able to define and embrace their introversion.
- Also, this lays out that this kind of introversion is never linked to timidity at any time.
- On the other hand, the most extroverted people usually have a fear or an obvious discomfort of being alone. They feel threatened. Plus, they see themselves as “broken” if at any given point they aren’t with their partner, friends, etc…
- At the same time, another interesting detail is that people who feel at ease in solitude better manage their stress and anxiety.
You may, however, be wondering what negative aspects this profiling tool can show you. What the “ABC of Social Desires” shows is that these people usually feel misunderstood.
They have a good view of themselves. Plus, they have a good self-esteem. However, when they think about how others see them, they almost always see themselves as “the black sheep of the group” or “the odd ball”.
All in all, everyone has their own kind of personality. No one personality is better than another. Whether you’re a social butterfly or prefer time alone, it’s good to learn what helps you be the best person you can be and embrace it.