Passionate and Rational Love: Can They Go Together?

07 December, 2018

Important differences

Rational love can’t exist if one person gives without receiving anything in exchange. Over time, the relationship will wane and fall apart. When one person has doubts or isn’t sure if they love the other, it means that they don’t.

There’s always somebody who ends up getting hurt in a relationship, but it’s only because the other person doesn’t know how to love or how to show it correctly. In these cases, it’s better to end the relationship in order to stop perpetuating the harm.

Rational love should be mutual, balanced, harmonious, fair and honest. When a relationship turns out to be just the opposite, it’s time to reflect and look for a different path.

In passionate love, the players act on their emotions, leaving reasoning behind. It’s a feeling where sexual attraction, desire, arousal, emotions and other factors take the lead.

Sometimes, people lost in passion fail to think out their actions because they’re carried away by the excitement of the moment. Furthermore, some say that passion can deeply wound people. In some cases, it can even end up in violence and other terrible situations.

Also read: Passionate Love Vs. Stable Love

Emotions and reason

Passionate versus rational love: a couple arguing.

When relationships lose their balance between emotions and reasoning, then frustration and deception arise, along with a destruction of self-esteem.

Among other feelings, the following elements emerge:

  • Disillusionment
  • Violence
  • Torture
  • Anguish

Too much of either one — passionate or rational love — can become very toxic for a couple. In both cases, there are very damaging consequences that can affect hormones and destroy the identity as well as the happiness of a person.

In some cases, when a person constantly lives in these kinds of situations, they get sick. Stress, heart conditions, and high blood pressure are common consequences.

If a person is aware of the risks and acts in time, they can avoid senseless suffering. It’s better to get away from a harmful person before the problem gets serious.

How can we combine passionate and rational love?

A couple with their eyes closed, embracing.

There isn’t a perfect formula for combining passionate and rational love. It depends on the situation. Before attempting anything, you should first understand the problem that you have.

The most important thing to do is to find a combination of both types of love. Finding the right amounts of each love for your particular relationship is the way to go. That means making fair decisions together without falling back into the problem, thus preventing pain and complications.

If there is no reasoning behind a relationship, it’ll be very difficult to grow because it will already be on the rim of failure. That’s exactly why passion and reasoning should always go together.

We recommend that you read: 4 Signs that Your Partner Is Emotionally Cheating on You

Do you have to be only one or the other: passionate or rational?

Putting walls up in relationships.

The answer to the question is no: you can actually be both at the same time. In other words, a part of us should be reasonable and analytical, able to be rational and objective.

On the other hand, we should also use our personal instinct in certain situations. The way we walk, dress, eat, dance — all of them can be sensual and have the power to draw attention.

How can you be more attractive? Well, you can be more attractive by working on your reasoning, what you know, intellectual interests, wisdom, intelligence, etc.

In addition, that love needs to be combined with your “natural” side by giving up control and falling in love, sharing life with the other person. In certain situations, you just have to let happiness, passion, anger and sadness happen naturally.

The key to a successful relationship is always keeping the spark of desire alive. To love means to want the best for the other person and to live each moment to its fullest. Passionate and rational love is a perfect combination.

  • Ciompi Luc. Sentimientos, afectos y lógica afectiva: Su lugar en nuestra comprensión del otro y del mundo. Rev. Asoc. Esp. Neuropsiq.  [Internet]. 2007  [citado  2018  Dic  01] ;  27( 2 ): 153-171. Disponible en:
  • Martín López-Andrade Laura. Erotomanía, amor y enamoramiento: Contradicciones. Rev. Asoc. Esp. Neuropsiq.  [Internet]. 2009  [citado  2018  Dic  01] ;  29( 1 ): 157-169. Disponible en:
  • Sánchez Aragón, Rozzana. (2007). Significado psicológico del amor pasional: lo claro y lo obscuro. Interamerican Journal of Psychology41(3), 391-402. Recuperado em 01 de dezembro de 2018, de
  • ______________ La estructura emocional de la intensidad de la pasión romántica. Acta de investigación psicol  [revista en la Internet]. 2011  Ago [citado  2018  Dic  01] ;  1( 2 ): 254-273. Disponible en: