Can You Love Both Passionately and Rationally?

By loving passionately and rationally you obtain a balance that'll allow you to live the best aspects of both worlds, without falling into the dark side.
Can You Love Both Passionately and Rationally?

Last update: 15 December, 2022

Important differences

Rational love can’t exist if one person gives without  receiving anything in exchange. Over time, the relationship will wane and fall apart.

When one person has doubts or isn’t sure if they love the other, it means that they don’t. There’s always somebody who ends up getting hurt in a relationship, but it’s only because the other person doesn’t know how to love or how to show it correctly. In these cases, it’s better to end the relationship in order to stop perpetuating the harm.

A couple arguing about passionate and rational love.

Rational love should be mutual, balanced, harmonious, fair, and honest. When a relationship turns out to be just the opposite, it’s time to reflect and look for a different path. In passionate love, the players act on their emotions, leaving reasoning behind. It’s a feeling where sexual attraction, desire, arousal, emotions, and other factors take the lead.

Sometimes, people lost in passion fail to think out their actions because they’re carried away by the excitement of the moment.

Furthermore, some say that passion can deeply wound people. In some cases, it can even end up in violence and other terrible situations.

Read about the differences between Passionate Love Vs. Stable Love

Emotions and reason

When relationships lose their balance between emotions and reasoning, then frustration and deception arise, along with a destruction of self-esteem. Among other feelings, the following elements emerge:

  • Disillusionment
  • Boredom
  • Violence
  • Torture
  • Anguish

Too much of either one — passionate or rational love — can become very toxic for a couple. In both cases, there are very damaging consequences that can affect hormones and destroy the identity as well as the happiness of a person.

In some cases, when a person constantly lives in these kinds of situations, they get sick. Stress, heart conditions, and high blood pressure are common consequences.

If a person is aware of the risks and acts in time, they can avoid senseless suffering. It’s better to get away from a harmful person before the problem gets serious.

How to love passionately and rationally at the same time?

A couple loving passionately.

There isn’t a perfect formula for combining passionate and rational love. It depends on the situation. Before attempting anything, you should first understand the problem that you have. The most important thing to do is to find a combination of both types of love. 

Finding the right amounts of each love for your particular relationship is the way to go. That means making fair decisions together without falling back into the problem, thus preventing pain and complications.

If there is no reasoning behind a relationship, it’ll be very difficult to grow because it will already be on the rim of failure. That’s exactly why passion and reasoning should always go together.

Passionately or rationally?

A woman trying to reach out to her partner about rational love.

The answer to the question is no: you can actually be both at the same time. In other words, a part of you should be reasonable and analytical, able to be rational and objective.

On the other hand, you should also use your personal instinct in certain situations. The way you walk, dress, eat, dance — all of them can be sensual and have the power to draw attention.

How can you be more attractive? Well, you can be more attractive by working on your reasoning, what you know, intellectual interests, wisdom, intelligence, etc. In addition, that love needs to be combined with your “natural” side by giving up control and falling in love, sharing life with the other person.

In certain situations, you just have to let happiness, passion, anger, and sadness happen naturally. The key to a successful relationship is always keeping the spark of desire alive. To love means to want the best for the other person and to live each moment to its fullest. Passionate and rational love is a perfect combination.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

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  • Martín López-Andrade Laura. Erotomanía, amor y enamoramiento: Contradicciones. Rev. Asoc. Esp. Neuropsiq.  [Internet]. 2009  [citado  2018  Dic  01] ;  29( 1 ): 157-169. Disponible en:
  • Sánchez Aragón, Rozzana. (2007). Significado psicológico del amor pasional: lo claro y lo obscuro. Interamerican Journal of Psychology41(3), 391-402. Recuperado em 01 de dezembro de 2018, de
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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.