For some people, nothing you do will ever be good enough and they will make you feel like a professional failure, even though you’re not.
These are damaging situations, especially if the person with the heavy expectations is a family member or even your partner.
These types of personalities have a very specific goal: to keep us under their control and in accord with their stringent values.
Believe it or not, these types of relationship dynamics are everywhere. Sometimes no matter what we say or do, nothing will be good enough for that one family member, friend or coworker. We can never be right in their opinion.
Instead of basing our lives on how others might react, we need to break away from these types of relationships that cause undue misery.
Below, we’ll explain how to do it.
Nothing you do is ever good enough: 3 steps to freedom
Emotional openness, active listening and reciprocity are not found in abundance these days. People are tremendously complicated and not everyone has the same understanding of “respect.”
Underneath, we all have many facets that need to be taken into consideration:
- Fears: These limiting attitudes sometimes make us want to control others in order to keep from losing them. It’s common for fear to force us to humiliate others to maintain control. Reassuring ourselves and covering up our fears makes us realize how low our self-esteem really is.
- The way we’ve been raised: This is a key aspect. Growing up without healthy bonds to offer security or to teach the meaning of respect leads to a lack of personal and affective skills.
- Personal interests: Our own selfishness and desires. Sometimes no matter how we’ve been raised, some people feel the need to control their entire environment and establish dominance.
This demonstrates something really simple. Human beings are really skilled at putting up protective armor. Nobody knows what lies under the thick shells. The harder the armor, the more complex the being underneath.
We’ll explain how to defend yourself against these types of people.
Your priorities are not my priorities
We’re sure that, at some point, you will have experienced something like the situation below. Sooner or later you will realize that what you value might not match up with what others find important. If you choose to be a vegetarian, for example, your family might ridicule your decision.
If you come home with a new partner, they might tell you that you “deserve someone better.” Instead of feeling humiliated, you need to understand a few things:
- Everyone has different opinions. However, some people choose to impose their perspectives on others instead of respecting and letting others be, believing their truth to be superior to that of others.
This is not right. Every time you find yourself in a situation like this, remember this:
- Our lives do not revolve around others: we are free and have the right to live our own lives with dignity.
- No one has the right to tell us what to do to be happy.
What makes me happy is good for me
If what you do, say or stand for makes you happy, nothing else matters. Your choices define who you are and every step you take marks a path that is yours alone, no one else’s.
- Remember that if others criticize or do not accept your choices, it’s their problem. Not yours. We need to be conscious of our own needs.
- If we lived our lives pleasing others and trying to live up to their expectations, our lives would have no meaning. Creating your own happiness takes courage, self-awareness and fighting for what you deserve.
Life is too short to live up to others’ expectations
We all make mistakes, and those who truly care for us will help us do better. However, someone who is always correcting you and putting you down is no help at all—they’re actually causing damage instead.
Discover: The Incredible Mind of a Mature Woman
- If you know someone like this, you need to understand that they will never change. It’s really difficult when someone cannot empathize or reciprocate respect.
- Nothing works better than remembering that life is too short to be unhappy. Make yourself a priority. If nothing you do is good enough for this person, accept it and let them go.
You know that the things you do are good because you do them your way according to your personality and values. Don’t let anyone upset this balance or damage your self-esteem.