The 5 Most Common Reasons for Falling out of Love

What causes falling out of love and why is it so hard for us to accept it? These and other questions will be answered in this article.
The 5 Most Common Reasons for Falling out of Love

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Falling out of love, just like falling in love, is something natural. However, it’s a situation that always saddens us. To stop loving someone who’s given us so much, with whom we have shared moments, with whom we were so excited, plunges us into a sadness that seems to be endless.

But why does this happen? This is what we’ll talk about next, because there are reasons why the end of a relationship may be closer than we think.

What are the 5 most common causes of falling out of love?

Although there are many reasons why falling out of love can occur, we’ve decided to choose 5 of them to discuss in more depth. They’re quite general and common causes, and reasons that lead any relationship to break up.

1. Your interests are no longer the same

The first cause for falling out of love is when interests change. Suddenly, one of the partners wants to move away or have children, when this wasn’t always the case. When priorities and dreams aren’t the same, the bond weakens.

A couple that's fallen out of love.
When the interests of the couple don’t coincide, the bond tends to break because there are no longer things in common to share.

2. Respect has been lost

The second cause of falling out of love has to do with respect, something that should never be lost in a relationship (at least if we want it to be healthy).

As soon as there are insults, one of the parties degrades or verbally abuses the other, then there’s no more room for love.

3. Excessive and unfounded jealousy

The third reason for falling out of love is jealousy. Any type of jealousy towards your partner, which is maintained over time and isn’t resolved, is pathological.

It sometimes requires the intervention of a professional psychologist. Jealousy undermines the relationship, fills it with distrust, and damages it until all that remains are its fragments.

4. Lack of care for the partner

The fourth reason for falling out of love is carelessness, due to everyday life and habits. The lack of attention to details, of wanting to surprise the other person, of buying your partner something they like on any given day… This lack of care for the other person will end the relationship and lead to a progressive falling out of love.

5. Needs are not satisfied

The last of the reasons for falling out of love is unsatisfied needs. We’re not only talking about intimacy (lack of sexual desire or sexual relations), but also lack of hugs, active listening, quality time spent together. If needs aren’t met, the relationship will become fragile.

Tips for overcoming heartbreak

Something that’s very important to keep in mind in any relationship is that nothing’s certain. That’s why taking care of your partner, pampering them, and being careful to build a good relationship are all crucial.

However, some situations are out of our hands. Like interests that change or needs that aren’t satisfied because we’re no longer compatible. What can we do, then? We have to try to deal with the heartbreak.

Accept that it’s normal

We mentioned it at the beginning. We accept love, but not heartbreak. We feel a great rejection because of the pain it causes us, but we aren’t the only people this has happened to.

Besides, even if we don’t realize it now, we’ll find someone to fall in love with again when we heal.

Coping with grief

Grief hurts; it’s like a thorn in the flesh that we try to pull out. But it’s a mistake to dive into a new relationship just to avoid going through the grieving process.

Grieving allows us to accept falling out of love, mourn the breakup, and focus on ourselves. Let’s get our emotions out and love ourselves more than ever.

Avoiding contact with the partner

Experts who specialize in emotional dependency suggest having zero contact with your ex after a breakup. This is essential – putting distance between you and your ex so that the wounds begin to heal.

Many couples who haven’t ended badly do it to be able to mark a distance and go through the mourning process.

The silhouette of a person walking from darkness to light.
Learning to be alone is part of the grieving process and shouldn’t scare us. It’s a time to deepen ourselves.

Doing things alone

When we’re part of a couple, sometimes we forget what we like to do alone or we feel insecure when we go to the movies, for a walk, or have a drink in a cafe without someone by our side.

It’s time to be with yourself, to do things for yourself, to enjoy the space you now have and the time you no longer need to share with a partner. Right now, you’re the only one who matters.

There are no shortcuts to falling out of love

We tend to simplify the path of falling out of love, when it should be given the importance it deserves. In falling out of love, there are no shortcuts. Moving on takes time.

There’s pain and a lot of it but, in the end, there’s a very special reencounter with ourselves that will allow us to be with someone again and once again enjoy the act of loving.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Bustos Caro, A. C. (2011). Cuando se acaba el amor: Estrategias de afrontamiento, duelo por pérdidas amorosas y crecimiento postraumático en estudiantes universitarios (Bachelor’s thesis, Quito: USFQ, 2011).
  • Carrasco, J. C. (2009). La violencia en el seno de las relaciones íntimas, analizadas por un psicólogo clínico. Pensamiento Psicológico6(13).
  • Charnay Rebolledo, M., & Henríquez Fierro, E. (2003). Prevalencia del deseo sexual inhibido en mujeres en edad fértil y factores relacionados. Ciencia y enfermería9(1), 55-64.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.