Love is Not the Same as Ownership

When you understand that love doesn’t mean you own the other person, you can enjoy a much more fulfilling relationship without fear or subjection
Love is Not the Same as Ownership

Last update: 27 May, 2022

When you fall in love you feel like that person makes up a huge part of your life, and you never want to leave them. At times, this feeling can become a necessity. That’s why you have to learn to love without it turning into ownership or possession, however difficult it may be.

Sometimes you may love a person so much that you feel like you own their life and want to control their actions. You may fall into the trap of trying to change how they think or their personality, so that you feel more comfortable and stable in the relationship.

First you have to evaluate whether your love is toxic or healthy. If it’s causing you a lot of pain, for example, you must begin to accept the fact that your relationship should probably end.

The breakup

Everyone knows that this stage of a relationship is very painful. During that time you go through a lot of grief that it’s important to acknowledge.

It may seem impossible, but it’s a good idea to end your relationship in as friendly a way as possible. This will help you avoid hurting the other person even more.

It may be difficult to accept that you need to separate yourself from someone who you really love. You must understand, however, that you don’t own them, and loving does not imply ownership.

A loving relationship has to be a mutual decision made by both people – you can’t possess another person if they don’t want you to. If you truly love someone, you have to let them go if it’s time.

Read also: Three fatal errors at the end of a relationship

Emotions you face when you let go of someone you love

It’s very painful to let go of someone you love. You’ll feel a variety of intense emotions that you must overcome. For many, it’s hard to understand why you would leave someone if it was true love.

Some of these emotions can cause very unpleasant symptoms, such as insomnia and an almost physical pain from the heart.

You might also experience the following:

  • Headaches
  • Loss of appetite
  • Bad mood
  • Severe depression

The best decision: because love does not imply ownership

A breakup is always scary because you have to go through the full process of recovery, and this involves suffering. If you think about it, however, it’s better to go through all that instead of living in misery.

Start now by recognizing that what has happened, happened, and no matter how much you love the other person you cannot possess them. You have to understand that it’s much better to see the person you love being happy, than living in torture.

When you accept this it will be much easier to make the right decision and face this challenge.

Over time you will feel better. It will become a comfort to see a person you loved being happy, even if they are no longer a part of your life.

Only the beautiful memories will be left, along with what you learned, your experiences, and something else very valuable: remember that this person is who helped you know true love.

You must learn that love, even if it lasts forever within you, cannot always be like that in the real world.

When you start a new relationship, always begin with positive thoughts and the reminder that you don’t own the other person. Life is a process and a relationship is one of many things that happens during it.

It’s true that a breakup is the last thing you think of at the start of a relationship. Nevertheless, it’s best to always be prepared for both the good and bad that may come.

Life is a series of stages and you should go through them enjoying every moment, without regret for what’s behind you. Other experiences will come, and they will probably be better.

Visit this article: True love respects your past

A momentary separation, or forever?

Life can surprise and re-unite two people who truly love each other, although many years may need to pass for this to happen. Those who believe in destiny will assure you that if one person is destined to be with another, their paths will always lead them back together.

The most important thing is to analyze and learn from your mistakes, and see them as strengths to restart your relationship. If you work on this, you’ll regain the passion that was lost during your initial breakup.

If you don’t reconcile your relationship, however, you must be grateful to the other person for having been the reason you were able to experience such a great love.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Boix Selva, E. M., & Martínez Manso, J. A. (1979). Conflictividad y ruptura en el matrimonio. Papers: Revista de Sociología.
  • Buckman E. (1994). Grado de desarrollo de la resiliencia y su relación con los factores protectores y de riesgo, en adolescentes de Instituciones Educativas de Lima, Ica, Ayacucho y Huánuco – 2005. Krieger Publishing Company.
  • Riso, W. (2003). Amar o depender?: cómo superar el apego afectivo y hacer del amor una experiencia plena y saludable. Editorial Norma.
  • Arocena, F. A. L., & Ceballos, J. C. M. (2017). Dependencia emocional, consciencia del presente y estilos de comunicación en situaciones de conflicto con la pareja. Enseñanza e investigación en psicología, 22(1), 66-75.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.