We all want to find true love. However, we also do everything we can to scare it off.
Entering into a relationship for fear of being alone, lacking the necessary assertiveness, or the fear of losing the other person can stop true love from calling at our door.
The thing is that with all these premises, love will start to limit us and restrict our freedom. Love will start to be based on fear.
True love is not emotional dependency
In this way, we judge our partner if they don’t get jealous; we want them to show us that we’re their property. However, with all this, where has the true love gone?
It’s not present, because it has turned into something that limits us and stops us growing. In reality, love enables us to become better people every day, to progress in life, and to mature.
When love limits us, its days are numbered. This is because the beliefs that are covering it over are destroying the true feeling of love and all that it implies.
When we believe that loving someone means depending on them, we don’t love, we need. Then, we’re far from finding true love.
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True love doesn’t judge your past because it lives in the present
Something that characterizes true love is that it will never judge your past. That is to say, there is no need to relive the mistakes that you may have made with previous partners in the present.
If someone is with you and wants to start a relationship by your side and create a life project together, there’s no reason to judge the actions that have made up part of your past experience.
For example, you may have been unfaithful or you may have emotionally depended on a partner a while ago. Perhaps you didn’t allow yourself to be the best parent in the past or you weren’t entirely truthful in your relationship.
Whatever may have happened, the person you have met now shouldn’t judge any of it. The idea is that if you’re aware of all this, then you’ve learned the lessons. You’ve been critical with yourself and have understood that you can improve.
If none of this happens and you’re perhaps afraid that the person by your side will judge you for your past and fear that if you’re truthful this person will leave you, it’s important to know that this is not true love.
You’re not letting yourself be honest, expressing your experiences and all that you have learned from them. You’re not the same person that you were years ago.
If your potential partner is judging you for all that you’ve experienced and for all the mistakes you have made, this is not what you’re looking for. This is not true love.
The search for mature love
True love can be equated to what we know as mature love. It’s a calmer kind of love with very solid bases that arises once the phase of infatuation passes.
This love is characterized by a series of guidelines that we’ll reflect on now:
- It accepts the past without judgement, because it’s impossible to change and implies an experience that has enabled enriching learning.
- It doesn’t want to change the other person, because true love means accepting the other person fully. Only this way can a healthy connection and relationship be established.
- It knows that it doesn’t need the other person to be happy, but it chooses them as a life companion to live a fulfilling, loving experience which enables both people to enjoy life and learn together.
- It never limits the future of either person, but rather strengthens their growth, encouraging them to reach their goals.
Before you go, don’t miss: Practice Self-Love and You’ll Be Loved as You Wish to Be
Mature love never makes us small, but rather invites us to grow. Our partner should never make us feel like our world is stagnating nor receding, but rather progressing.
Have you found true love?