The Laws of Life: 3 Basic Principles

It’s important that the laws of your life be based on ethics and respect for those around you. Don’t desire something for others that you wouldn’t want for yourself.

Reviewed and approved by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 27 May, 2022

The real laws of life aren’t set by a legal code or family mandates. Nor are they set by the new false gurus of today who try to convince us how to be happy.

The slaw of life are set by oneself when, little by little, we realize where the limits are, the sense of respect, coexistence. And that magic that allows us to enjoy each other in harmony. We invite you to reflect on three aspects that will undoubtedly help you.

The Laws of Life

There are plenty of things that you can’t learn in books. You discover them by making mistakes, through observation and deduction, as well as by interacting with others. You eventually find happiness. However, no doubt you have also known pain.

Mario Benedetti said in one of his poems that you can complain about anything and that suffering occurs because all roses have thorns. He also said any day a storm can occur.

Don’t focus on “wanting to suffer.” Otherwise, you’ll certainly suffer. Sometimes, it’s enough to have a humble heart and to give thanks for the fact that you’re alive even though the rose has its thorns. After all, they’re part of what makes it beautiful. That’s why you need to understand that the balance of your daily life lies in your attitude and those laws of life that you impose on yourself to become a little happier.

Live Authentically

The first of these laws is to learn to live apart from appearances. If you think about it, the world is already full of falsehoods. Many come from the images that the marketing industry uses to influence your daily activities.

• The world of advertising, fashion, and television is based on these false appearances that many try to imitate or achieve.
• Likewise, in our closest environments, something we don’t see very often is authenticity.

What’s hiding behind the need to put on appearances?

That humble closeness in which nothing is sought or intended, only to express oneself as one is, stands as a declining value we need to invest in. Furthermore, the need to maintain appearances camouflages a series of psychological processes that we need to be aware of:

• Low self-esteem and feelings of insecurity about not being accepted if you show yourself as you truly are.
• The need to be validated. Appearances and falsehoods make you believe that they’re how society will accept you.
• The need for attention. For example, if you perceive me as a kind person, I’ll gain your confidence and get something from you.

Love Without Dependence

Another aspect of the laws of life that most people discover throughout at some point is the fact that love means nothing if it’s based on dependence. Few things require as much expressiveness, freedom, authenticity and character as love does.

• If your relationship is based on a dependence on your partner to the point of diluting yourself and becoming a shadow of that person, it’ll gradually weaken you to the point of frustration.
• Dependence on love generates unhappiness, and eventually, depression will appear.
• Few laws of life are as wise as the ones that advise you to love yourself first.
• However, society, and even our families, remind us of the same thing. That anything goes in love and that if you love someone, you’ll give it until your last breath.
• Besides, while it’s true that there are many different types of love, what you can never do is deny your true self, whether it’s for your child or your partner.

In the first place, because denything ourselves implies not giving the best of ourselves to those we love. Someone with low self-esteem isn’t at 100% of his vital, psychic or affective energy.

Let’s be creators of love, not submissive. Let’s be architects of healthy relationships, not mere dependents.

Speak Without Offense

This psychological approach teaches us that people also build their identity and self-esteem based on certain things. Specifically, on the affective and social transactions or exchanges we receive from the people who raise us, or who interact with us every day.

When you fill your words with hidden offensiveness, irony, or scorn, it causes what Eric Berne defined as a negative emotional touch. This type of “caress” through language can do more damage than a blow or physical aggression. It’s a personal violation that people sometimes make without even realizing it.

There are people who shout instead of talking. There are also people who are used to hating or who make jokes thinking that they’re just being funny. While their words may be funny, all they achieve is harm.

It’s important that you choose your words wisely and be careful with your tone so that your emotional touch is always positive. In this way, you invest in your coexistence and respect for others.