6 Keys to Finding Your Soulmate

Before you find your soulmate, you need to find yourself first. You have to know and love yourself in order to be able to connect with the one that enriches your life
6 Keys to Finding Your Soulmate
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 11 June, 2022

Finding your soulmate isn’t about magic, nor is it about waiting for the strands of destiny to knit the right opportunity. With the ideal partner, you should feel almost perfect emotional and spiritual harmony.

First of all, you’ll need to do some internal work. You won’t be able to find an affectionate partner to fulfill certain criteria if you don’t know what you want, who you are, or what identifies you.

As you might have heard before, “you attract what you are”. For that very reason, it’s important to be someone who’s mature, sure of themselves, and capable of offering the best to others with charisma.

Below, we go into a bit more detail.

Finding your soulmate is as easy as it is hard

woman reading in a field in the sunshine looking to her right

1. Keep your priorities clear to find your soulmate

Most of us have several previous chapters, our own personal “backpack” full of emotional stories, happy times, and even a few love stores thrown in there.

However, did you really learn from all of these life experiences? Everything you’ve experienced in the past should serve as a life lesson. This is the only way that you can get to know yourself better and clarify what you want and what you don’t.

You need to get your priorities very clear. This way you’ll be able to filter through what life throws at you, or more specifically, the people who cross your path. Repeating the same mistakes or yesterday’s misguided patterns doesn’t do any good.

Also read: Learn to Accept Yourself as You Are

2. Enjoy your journey, life, and yourself

Instead of obsessing over finding your soulmate, let your soulmate find you. Let love come to you and meanwhile, enjoy life, yourself, and what’s around you.

Often, we fill our days with so many goals that we forget to do something essential: to slow down and appreciate the moment. Enjoy yourself in the here and now where the most beautiful things happen along with all those lovely coincidences.

Only those who are able to enjoy their journey and allow themselves to love themselves fully know what they deserve and who they are. At the same time, they become much more receptive to what surrounds them.

3. Be emotionally mature

woman looking into the distance standing at a bridge; with the sunset in front of her

Don’t look for someone to help you forget your loneliness, heal your past wounds, or someone to fill up the hole that someone else left behind. Also, don’t look for something impossible or feed your expectations of romantic love: look for mature love, a courageous relationship.

  • Having clear priorities about what you want and what you don’t want to repeat or suffer will be very helpful for you.
  • However, emotional maturity is essential as well when it comes to looking for your soulmate.

If you want someone responsible, emphatic, close, that knows how to listen, share without dependence, and love without being controlling, remember this: start practicing those qualities yourself.

4. Find your own soul before finding your soulmate

How does one find their own voice? Going beyond the metaphor, there’s an indisputable fact: nobody can give another anything without first knowing themselves.

In fact, if you don’t know who you really are, what bothers you, what hurts you, or what your real needs are, it’s easy to become dependent on the other person.

Never underestimate the importance of knowing yourself; of knowing where your limits are, what your values are, what your defects and weaknesses are, in addition to your strengths.

5. Listen to your intuition

They say that intuition is the voice of your heart, but it’s actually so much more than that. Intuition or ‘gut feeling’ is the reflection of your subconscious. Here, you can find your true essence, your memories, your personality, and everything you know that allows you to compose quick answers when you need them most.

So, when you find yourself in front of that special person, your intuition will let you know. Trust and, above all, know how to listen to your sixth sense.

6. Believe in your soulmate and be receptive

Why wouldn’t you believe that there’s someone at the other end of the red thread of destiny attached to your little finger? Why wouldn’t you believe that someone can be your true soulmate?

There’s nothing wrong with believing it as long as we always keep some things clear:

  • Your soulmate doesn’t have to be someone who shares the same interests as you.
  • A soulmate is someone you connect with on a deeper level, beyond hobbies or personal preferences.
  • To connect means that, despite being different, you understand and enrich each other.
  • It means that you’re “one” formed by “two parts”, always maintaining your own individuality but enjoying the same journey; you work on the same project.
couple watching the sunset together

Your soulmate is someone who will you love you unconditionally

On a closing note, going beyond romance and symbolism of the term “soulmate”, there’s actually a set of emotional and psychological processes that clearly define what many of us understand to be the perfect partner.

However, you should remember this: it’ll be the person who loves you and does so unconditionally. You won’t have to beg for attention, because you’ll be a gift sent to them from heaven, and they’ll treat you as such. Don’t look for an ideal love: look for a true love.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.