How to Report an Abusive Lover

August 21, 2019
Get out of your domestic violence routine. Real love does not involve any sort of abuse, and you deserve better. In this article, you'll get some tips on how to make a complaint.

Reporting an abusive lover seems easy when it happens to someone else. However, when it happens to you, you may make all sorts of excuses for the person. These excuses keep you from making the healthy decision to put an end to it.

Today, we’ll give you some tips to help you leave an abusive relationship.

How to Report an Abusive Lover

Currently, there are many options and resources available to report an abusive lover. However, many are still reluctant to use do so.

Here are four tips on how to use them to protect yourself and your children from domestic violence:

1. Call 911

A woman calling 911.
The number of reported cases of domestic abuse have increased thanks to 911 and other domestic abuse hotlines.

Do you have questions about whether you’re entangled in an abusive relationship? Do you not know what to do?

Either way, don’t hesitate and call 911. This is a number that leaves no trace on your phone bill and you shouldn’t be afraid to use it.

You can also call the national hotline at any of these numbers: 800-799-7233 or 800-787-3224 (TTY).

As the National Domestic Violence Hotline indicates, their numbers are completely free of charge. They also operate 24 hours, so there is always someone who can assist you.

They’ll tell you what to do, where to go, and offer you emotional support.

You might like: Six Forms of Verbal Abuse from Your Partner You Shouldn’t Tolerate

2. Lean on Healthy Family, Friends and Professionals

When you’re living with an abusive relationship, you typically don’t want to acknowledge it. Quite possibly you’ve already heard it from your friends, family, or respected professionals (like a counselor, teacher, religious leader, etc.).

They may have told you that this person isn’t good for you and that you should leave them. Deep down, you know they’re right, but …

Those who love you often want what’s best for you. The same goes for helping professionals. They try to open your eyes to what you can’t or refuse to see.

Remember, you’re never alone. There’s a whole network of people out there who care for you and are willing to help you, whether they be family, friends, or nearby professionals.

3. Think of Your Children

A couple arguing in front of their child.
Even when you may be paralyzed by fear a strong reason to stand up against an abusive lover is to protect your children.

Many times, you don’t realize how abusive these kinds of situations are for your children. This is something that articles on child abuse often clearly speak to. However, your excuses in regards to the love your partner claims to have for you often lead you to overlook the damage you both are doing to them.

Your children may not receive physical abuse directly. However, it’s highly traumatic for any person to observe or hear someone attacks their parent either verbally or physically.

Thus, if you have any doubt about reporting your abusive lover, ask yourself:

  • Is this the environment in which I want my children to grow up?
  • Am I happy in this daily situation?
  • Why do I consent to stay in this toxic relationship that may harm my children?
  • Do I truly care more about my lover than my children?

You may be interested: Five Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

4. Take Action to Report an Abusive Lover

The fourth tip on how to report an abusive lover is to take action, just as you would advise others to do.

How would you act if your sister or best friend was in a similar situation? Wouldn’t you tell them to leave and file a report?

You would do so without thinking twice about it.

Of course, it’s easier to see the damage when it happens to others. So, asking for the help and support of your family, friends, and professionals is essential. It’ll help you gain a different perspective.

Don’t Suffer in Silence

A person setting boundaries to their abusive lover.
Thanks to domestic abuse hotlines, the number of complaints increased. However, there is still ground to cover when it comes to reporting violence.

Even though domestic violence reports are on the rise, so is the absence of filed complaints.

How many times does a person seriously harm – or even kill – their lover without there being a report of previous conflicts? How many cases have you heard of or lived close to where children end up impacted by the consequences of domestic abuse between their parents?

Fear, lack of knowledge and vicious abuse make it very difficult for a victim to take action.

Also, the common strategy of an abuser is to isolate their partner from healthy contacts. They move them away from family, friends, or anyone who can make them aware of what’s going on.

Meanwhile, if you notice the signs of abuse in another, it’s important not to look the other way. Report it. Do so even if the abused person rejects it, as many times they’re not even aware of it. Thus, most of the time they may live in fear and their low confidence keeps them from taking a stand.

We hope this article allowed you to be aware that there is help around you. Furthermore, stop making excuses such as “I don’t know what to do” or “no one’s going to help me.”

There’s help out there. Seek it.

If you and your children are in a bad place then ask for help. Leaving a toxic situation will uncover a world where peace and happiness are real and within your reach. They’ll become a reality starting with you taking action and standing up for yourself.


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