Regain Trust After a Second Chance
Trust is one of the fundamental pillars of any relationship, especially when someone gives you a chance to regain it. If this is lost, the most certain destiny will be conflicts and eventual breakups. Fortunately, we can regain trust and rebuild the relationship to a better version when given a second chance.
Of course, this process requires commitment and patience, because the results are not immediate. However, it is not impossible. Let’s take a closer look.
Tips to regain trust in the relationship
Trust in a couple can be lost for many reasons. Among the most common are infidelities, lies and hiding valuable information from the other.
Whatever the case, one of the parties (or both) does not fulfill the agreements (tacit or not) that were in place, so the partner ends up becoming someone we can not count on. However, all is not lost.
Even if we make mistakes, it’s possible to regain our partner’s trust. To do so, we suggest the following:
1. Cultivate patience when given a second chance
The first step is to keep in mind that your partner’s trust will not be regained overnight. It is a process that takes time and effort. And depending on the quality of the bond prior to the cheating, it will be easier or more arduous.
It is also important to be aware that there will be ups and downs. That is, there will be times when you will feel that the relationship is progressing, but at other times you will feel stuck.
Remember that there are wounds to heal and conflicts to repair.
The process is not linear. You need to show more commitment and willingness to resolve conflicts assertively.
2. Demonstrate your commitment with facts
It is one thing to promise that we are going to change and that we will do things better, but it is quite another to put it into practice. It is useless to make empty promises. We must be willing to take the necessary actions to regain trust.
Going beyond words and putting them into action is the best way to take advantage of the opportunity that our partner has given us. We show him/her that we are committed to do our part.
3. Be consistent when given a second chance
To regain our partner’s trust, it is also important to maintain the commitment over time. As we said in previous paragraphs: this process has its ups and downs and requires time.
Therefore, the ideal will be to show a genuine interest in repairing the damage. Not only to get forgiveness, but to rebuild the bond from solid foundations.
To do this, always keep the details, keep your word and commit to changing all those negative dynamics that precipitated the conflicts.
4. Work on assertive communication and empathy
It is important that both parties give each other the time and space to assertively express their feelings and opinions. To do this, both parties must be able to actively listen, understand the other’s position and express themselves without falling into disrespect.
In the beginning, it’s very likely that you will face difficult conversations, where pain, anger, disappointment… However, it is necessary to have this connection to propose alternatives and overcome the conflict together.
You can also strengthen communication by asking your partner if he/she notices progress in the relationship. Or ask him/her what aspects you can improve and how.
5. Propose concrete solutions when given a second chance
We also advise you to use communication to identify conflicts that may be damaging the relationship and propose realistic and specific solutions.
To do this, recognize what situations trigger arguments or discomfort within the relationship. Then, propose solutions that benefit both of you, considering the desires and capabilities of each of you.
If the chosen strategy does not work in practice, you can sit down again to evaluate other alternatives. For example, if one of the triggers of conflict is the unfair distribution of household chores, it is advisable for both of you to draw up a detailed schedule with the tasks that each of you must fulfill during the week.
6. Be sincere
Sincerity is another requirement to regain your partner’s trust. We cannot repair all past damage and commit to change based on lies, omissions or deceit.
Therefore, we must be able to show our partner that our intentions are genuine and transparent. Without this, it is impossible to rebuild a project together.
7. Take responsibility for your mistakes when given a second chance
Taking responsibility for our mistakes does not only involve repenting and asking for forgiveness. It goes beyond that. We have to understand that we have failed.
Let’s reflect on it, accept our failure and learn . This inner work will help us grow as people and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
8. Avoid making promises that you cannot keep
When we want to regain trust, we usually make many promises full of good intentions. But can we really keep them? If we have been unfaithful or have lied to our partner, are we prepared to show that it will not happen again?
This goes hand in hand with sincerity, but not only with our partner, but also with ourselves. Therefore, we must give ourselves the opportunity to know ourselves.
Identify what your weaknesses, strengths and needs are. From there, make more accurate promises.
9. Attend couple’s therapy
Couple’s therapy is an excellent alternative to regaining trust in the relationship. In fact, mistrust is one of the main problems for which couples seek this type of help.
In this case, a specialist will offer support according to the characteristics and needs of both. Therefore, if you think that the situation is out of your hands, but you want to recover and strengthen the bond, do not hesitate to contact a professional.
A commitment takes two
To conclude, we want to emphasize that regaining trust is usually a complex process, which requires a lot of perseverance, patience, and love. Therefore, a commitment from both partners will be necessary for these strategies to work.It might interest you...
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Núñez F, Cantó-Milà C, Seebach S. Confianza, mentira y traición. El papel de la confianza y sus sombras en las relaciones de pareja. Sociológica [Internet]. 2015 [consultado el 22 nov 2022];30(84): 117-142. Recuperado de: https://www.redalyc.org/articulo.oa?id=305036203004
- Sevillano M, Escobar M. Confianza-desconfianza en las relaciones conyugales de parejas transnacionales. Prospectiva [Internet]. 2011 [consultado el 22 nov 2022]; 16: 225-256. Disponible en: https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=5857502