How to Help Her Get that Orgasm

Women's sexuality has been a silent topic for years. Prejudice and the lack of information are the main reasons why a woman doesn't reach orgasm.
How to Help Her Get that Orgasm
Isbelia Esther Farías López

Written and verified by the philosopher Isbelia Esther Farías López.

Last update: 25 July, 2022

Do you know what the Greek word kleitoris means? It means ‘little mountain’. That’s where the word clitoris comes from. In other words, it’s an organ whose main objective is to bring the female orgasm.

The clitoris is made up of hundreds of nerve endings and blood vessels that aren’t related to the urinary system.

However, that isn’t to say that women can only reach a female orgasm by stimulating the clitoris. The entire body actually plays a role in the process. Orgasms require caresses, kisses, and massages before vaginal penetration.

Definition of the female orgasm

In medical terms, the female orgasm is defined as a sexual response of an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tension; although many people believe that orgasms result only from genital stimulation, they can also happen from non-genital stimulation as well.

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How can you take her there?

The first thing you need to know is that every woman is different. There are some women that like to try new things, and there are others that don’t like to leave their comfort zone.

Basically, a smooth, gentle approach is just as valid as a more intense one depending on the case. There two kinds of approaches:

  • Direct: Putting pressure directly on the gland.
  • Indirect: Playing around and massaging different areas of the body.

We recommend you try combining both of them. Both a woman and her partner should know and explore her body. That’s the only way of figuring out which techniques, positions, and levels of intensity work best.

We’d like to remind you that women need lubrication in order to avoid undesired consequences.

  • For extra lubrication, we recommend you use special lubricants. Saliva isn’t a good idea.
  • You should avoid oil because it can damage latex condoms.

Use your brain

Use brain power

A lot of people are scared to play around with an indirect approach, but they aren’t aware that the brain is also considered a sexual organ.

Erotically fantasizing can help you reach high sexual heights. In metaphorical terms, this means that the mind becomes an erogenous zone whilst words can act as a frisky hand. But why? It helps to stimulate the amygdala.

  • This is the part of the brain where we store fears, emotions, and pleasure.
  • So, it turns out that sweet whispers are an absolute must.

What happens when she’s aroused?

As soon as a woman enters a state of arousal, blood pumps throughout the erectile tissue.

  • Consequently, the gland and bulbs increase in size.
  • The labia majora and minora harden and dilate.
  • This causes the external genitals and vagina lubricate the area.

During this process, blood carries chemical substances to the brain, which transmit the feeling of pleasure.

How can you know if a woman reaches orgasm? The muscles of the pelvic floor contract, resulting in involuntary contractions. In addition, the heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure all increase. It’s at that moment when thousands of hormones and chemical substances are released into the bloodstream.

Contrary to men, women can still be stimulated afterward and can experience multiple orgasms. According to a study, women can have 12 to 18 muscular contractions uninterrupted in a sequence, before reaching orgasm.

Basic tricks for achieving the female orgasm

Basic tricks
  • Never forget foreplay. You can never stroke too much and you should aim to see how each zone reacts to different types of stimulation.
  • Break routine. Even switching up the place where you have sex can revive the passion.
  • Erotic toys are a good idea for exploring the body while having sex.
  • Using lubricants aids penetration.
  • What is your partner’s fantasy? Do you think you could make it happen? It’s important to talk about it.

To wrap up, it’s all about exploring and not going straight for the genitals. Visit her entire body, from her feet to head, to increase blood flow and sensitivity.

The key is in starting slow and gradually pick up the pace.

So, are you ready for the main event?

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Uribe Arcila, J. F., Quintero Tobón, M. T., & Gómez Gómez, M. (2015). Orgasmo femenino: Definición y fingimiento. Urologia Colombiana.
  • Valdés, M., Sapién, J., & Córdoba, D. (2004). Significados de satisfacción sexual en hombres y mujeres de la zona metropolitana. Psicología y Ciencia Social.
  • Guillem Salazar, F., & Pons Salvador, G. (2000). El orgasmo femenino, ¿adaptación o subproducto de la evolución? Gazeta de Antropología.
  • Navarro Abal, Y., & Torrico Linares, E. (2005). Trastorno orgásmico femenino. FUENTE: PSIQUIATRÍA NOTICIAS.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.