“White lies” are lies that are socially accepted. But what happens when instead of lying to others, you lie to yourself? Those lies are considered harmful lies.
Self-deception is much more common than you may think. However, few people realize this fact.
That is why we decided to shed some light on a few destructive lies that you tell yourself every day without being aware of it.
You’ll probably be surprised by how much people normalize this self-deception.
Tomorrow is another day
This is one of the most repeated harmful lies. You can say it to yourself when you have a bad day, when you want to procrastinate, or when you what to quit a bad habit.
Although you can also say things like “I’ll quit tomorrow” or “I’ll do it tomorrow”, they all pretty much mean the same thing. You believe that tomorrow is another day. A new day to start new things with more energy and motivation.
However, that new day arrives and everything pretty much stays the same.
After all, as the saying goes, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today”.
If you want to quit smoking, quit today. If you want to find the motivation to hit the gym, take a few minutes, breathe, and then just get going!
If you want to set a deadline to do something, the best thing to do is keep it short. If you don’t keep it short, you’ll just procrastinate, and procrastination can become an infinite loop.
I never would have guessed!
This is another destructive lie you tell yourself every day that makes you not notice the things happening around you.
How did I not see that our son was really depressed and contemplating suicide? When did my best friend start abusing his partner?
There are none so blind as those who will not see and this is definitely something you can see every day. People tend to be in denial about certain things they don’t like or don’t want to accept.
This is because you don’t want the image you had of someone to crumble or because you don’t want to step out of your comfort zone, so you simply prefer to believe that everything is fine.
It’s like putting a blindfold on.
You ruined my day!
This is a really common destructive lie. It’s what’s known as projecting your problems onto others.
For example, you may tell someone during a heated argument that they ruined your day. However, no argument can have that power over you unless you allow it.
You manage your own emotions. Believing that someone else has the power to make you feel good or bad or bitter means that you’re making that person feel guilty about something that is just your responsibility.
Remember that you can react to a same situation differently on two different occasions. This is because you won’t be in the same mood on both days.
If you’re really stressed, you may shout and become really upset if you argue with someone. But if you’re calm, maybe you’ll handle the situation differently.
As you can see, the circumstances are the same, but how these circumstances make you feel is your responsibility.
Life is but a dream
This fourth destructive lie is what we call “false optimism”. It’s like wearing a mask to avoid reality.
Being optimistic doesn’t mean turning a blind eye and not seeing the negative, the bad, and the awful things that happen in the world. Optimism is an attitude. However, it’s impossible to be happy and cheerful all the time.
If this happens, you’re practicing false optimism. This means you’re inside an unrealistic bubble that doesn’t allow you to tell right from wrong.
Yes, you must always have a positive and resilient attitude. However, what you shouldn’t do is immerse yourself in a dream world that only exists in your mind.
Before you go, make sure you read: 5 Practical Ways to Build Your Resiliency
Which of these destructive lies do you tell yourself every day? Have you noticed that some people around you take refuge in some more than in others?
Being aware of them will allow you to steer clear of self-deception, hold yourself responsible, and experience life in a healthier way.