Getting Over Guilt: More Than Scars
Many of us carry our scars as if they are a heavy weight. This is a weight that makes your past very present. It overwhelms you making you anxious.
People forget that they aren’t our scars or past mistakes. They aren’t the guilt that they might have felt at a given moment.
You are much more than your mistakes, but don’t want to admit it. When you deny this, you suffer under the weight of guilt you’ve already given up.
What are mistakes?
Behind the word “mistake” a number of beliefs are hidden. These make you feel bad when you make a mistake. Some of them are “failure”, “you aren’t worthy”, or “no one will like you”.
In reality, mistakes you make can make wounds appear that then become your wounds.
Some scars shouldn’t be opened up. But, they should be a sign that you’ve learned from mistakes you’ve made.
We go back to the past time and time again, more than we believe, to open up old wounds. These are wounds that we’ve never let heal.
We feel bad because of what happened in times passed. But, the present is more important, not what many people have forgotten and we should have gotten over.
But, how do you get over a situation that left such a mark on you? Learn from it and don’t deny it. Don’t keep this wound open.
We need to let this experience become part of your scars. This means those scars that you’ll never open again because you’ve learned your lesson.
However, sometimes this isn’t the case. The main problem then comes from the fact that we feel guilty.
Feeling guilty opens scars
Feeling guilty is a great wound. Manipulative people use your susceptibility to feeling guilty to steer us to their end goal.
The truth is that you don’t need to feel guilty about anything. All that you did you did in at that time because we felt that way, wanted to do it, or that’s just how it happened.
So, if something turned out bad, what can you do? When you go back, learn. You can always learn something from what you’re going through.
It doesn’t matter how bad it was or how big the stumbling block was.
Guilt doesn’t keep you from turning the page and from moving forward. It keeps you from seeing what happened in the past as an experience. Instead, it brings it to the present so that you live it out in a time it doesn’t belong to.
Doing this, you identify with something that you aren’t. You identify with something that’s passed. Is there a way to get rid of this?
1. Where does this guilt come from?
So that your scars are defined, it’s necessary to analyze where the guilt you feel comes from.
- The most likely thing is that it comes from several beliefs that surround the situation you went through. And they make you see it from a very negative perspective.
- You can write about this question on a paper. You can give up the reins so that all of this has a form, pretty words, and more.
Let your feelings talk through your words.
2. Realize the difference between guilt and responsibility
- Guilt comes from doing something negative. For instance, cheating on your partner.
However, this guilt causes recurring thoughts, self-punishment, lamentations, and wanting to be able to go back and change what happened.
- On the other hand, responsibility works differently. It leaves guilt behind and embraces the fact that you need to fix what you’ve done.
For instance, this means accepting the mistake and the consequences that may follow (like your partner will end your relationship).
Thanks to responsibility, you learn from mistakes you make. But, with guilt, we are stuck and can’t move forward. As a result, you feel horrible for years because of something you should have gotten over.
Now you know that your scars don’t define you. Rather, they show us the way we act and behave when faced with different situations in life.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Garbarino, J. (2015). 4. Emotional Damage: The Consequences of Unresolved Trauma. In Listening to Killers (pp. 105-144). University of California Press.
Radebe, M. (2016). Emotional Wound Healing: How to Recover from Emotional Devastation. Xlibris Corporation.
Ackerman, A., & Puglisi, B. (2017). The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Psychological Trauma. Smashwords Edition.