
A breakup or divorce, the death of a family member, getting fired from work…All of these are complicated circumstances that can happen in surprising and unexpected ways. For that reason, it can be very helpful to have a few keys…
Our scars are marks that lessons have left on us. But, we are much more than this and we don't have to be defined by them. This is because you’ve learned from your mistakes.
Many of us carry our scars as if they are a heavy weight. This is a weight that makes your past very present. It overwhelms you making you anxious.
People forget that they aren’t our scars or past mistakes. They aren’t the guilt that they might have felt at a given moment.
You are much more than your mistakes, but don’t want to admit it. When you deny this, you suffer under the weight of guilt you’ve already given up.
Behind the word “mistake” a number of beliefs are hidden. These make you feel bad when you make a mistake. Some of them are “failure”, “you aren’t worthy”, or “no one will like you”.
In reality, mistakes you make can make wounds appear that then become your wounds.
Some scars shouldn’t be opened up. But, they should be a sign that you’ve learned from mistakes you’ve made.
We go back to the past time and time again, more than we believe, to open up old wounds. These are wounds that we’ve never let heal.
We feel bad because of what happened in times passed. But, the present is more important, not what many people have forgotten and we should have gotten over.
But, how do you get over a situation that left such a mark on you? Learn from it and don’t deny it. Don’t keep this wound open.
We need to let this experience become part of your scars. This means those scars that you’ll never open again because you’ve learned your lesson.
However, sometimes this isn’t the case. The main problem then comes from the fact that we feel guilty.
Feeling guilty is a great wound. Manipulative people use your susceptibility to feeling guilty to steer us to their end goal.
The truth is that you don’t need to feel guilty about anything. All that you did you did in at that time because we felt that way, wanted to do it, or that’s just how it happened.
So, if something turned out bad, what can you do? When you go back, learn. You can always learn something from what you’re going through.
It doesn’t matter how bad it was or how big the stumbling block was.
Guilt doesn’t keep you from turning the page and from moving forward. It keeps you from seeing what happened in the past as an experience. Instead, it brings it to the present so that you live it out in a time it doesn’t belong to.
Doing this, you identify with something that you aren’t. You identify with something that’s passed. Is there a way to get rid of this?
So that your scars are defined, it’s necessary to analyze where the guilt you feel comes from.
Let your feelings talk through your words.
However, this guilt causes recurring thoughts, self-punishment, lamentations, and wanting to be able to go back and change what happened.
For instance, this means accepting the mistake and the consequences that may follow (like your partner will end your relationship).
Thanks to responsibility, you learn from mistakes you make. But, with guilt, we are stuck and can’t move forward. As a result, you feel horrible for years because of something you should have gotten over.
Now you know that your scars don’t define you. Rather, they show us the way we act and behave when faced with different situations in life.