How to Find and Make True Friends

03 January, 2019
A true friends does things for us that no one else would do. It is important to know how to identify the things that true friends do, not only to just recognize them, but to also reciprocate the actions

They say that true friends can be counted on one hand. They are the people that are always by our side, that listen to us and that bring out the best in us. They are in an exclusive list of friendship. In this post, we will talk about what you can do to identify them.

What do true friends do?

For some it is easy to identify who are their true friends, and who are only by their side for their own interest or hidden reasons. And that is because true friends do things for us that everyone else does not. If you have a handful of people at your side that do the things that we are going to list, you are very lucky!

1. Increase your self-esteem

When you are feeling down, they let you vent, scream, cry or talk for hours. And, at the end, they highlight all of your abilities and positive aspects so that you can feel better. A good friend is always looking to boost your self-esteem and mood, even in your worse moments.

2. They support you

Regardless of your decisions, they are always there to accompany you on the path that you choose, even if they don’t agree with it. They give you their support through a message, an afternoon together, a hug or through some gesture, like a gift or card.

3. They listen to you 100%

This is another one of the main characteristics of true friends. When we say that they “listen to you,” we are referring to them paying attention to everything that you say, whether it be repetitive, pessimistic, if you are overflowing with happiness or filled with anger. True friends can spend hours by your side (or on the other end of the phone) listening to you complain, insult someone, laugh, tell a story with a lot of detail, etc.

4. They make you feel comfortable

When you are with a great friend, it isn’t necessary to pretend to be someone that you are not. When you are with true friends, you don’t have to fake anything or try to impress them. With them, you can talk without watching what you say, you can show them who you really are and actually feel comfortable, just like at home, without masks.

5. They help you

When you have to make an important decision and you are not sure of it, you probably call your best friend so that they can give you their opinion. Or maybe, when you have to do something that you do not feel prepared for, you seek the help of that special person.

True friends give us valuable recommendations that come from their perception of the situation. They lend us an ear, their hugs, a hand and their feet when we need them. Also, they help us to find ourselves again when we are feeling a little lost. If things aren’t good, for whatever reason, they are our “rock.”

6. They make time for you

True friends don’t give us excuses when it comes to spending time together or talking, since they always want to hangout with us. It’s true that we all have our own obligations, work and things to do; but you will realize that if the friendship is real, that friend will always find time to see you.

Some phrases that true friends use:

  • “I have 15 minutes to go for coffee between work and class.”
  • “I have to go to the doctor’s. When I leave, I’ll stop by you house to say hi.”
  • “Don’t make plans for Thursday night, we’re going out to eat.”

On the contrary, if someone is always busy, always cancels plans or always makes it impossible to hangout, it might be that this person is not interested in making time for your friendship. It isn’t anything bad, maybe they are going through a difficult time. But it is most likely that you shouldn’t consider this person an unconditional friend. 

7. They tell you the truth

It is very important that you surround yourself with people who are honest and sincere. That is because it doesn’t do you any good to be surrounded by people who only tell you what you want to here. If a dress doesn’t look good on you, a real friend will tell you. Just like if they think that your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t right for you, they won’t be able to hide it. Also, if they think that you are making a bad decision, they will be the first to tell you.

Sincerity is very important in a relationship (friendship, partners, at work). Because of that, it is worth it to have friends that always tell you the truth, even if it hurts.

8. They respect you

True friends don’t “chain” you to them so that you are always by their side. They understand that you have other things to do and other people that you need to spend time with. Also, they respect you if you want to be alone, for whatever reason. Respect is very important in a friendship. That includes, among other things, respecting one’s personal space.

9. They forgive you

A real friend knows that you are a human being and that you can make mistakes. Because of that, if you show that you regret something that you said or did, they won’t have any issue forgiving you. True friendship includes forgiving mistakes, forgiving them from the heart and prioritizing the great relationship and the time you share. 

10. They make you a better person

If you want to gave true friends, you have to learn to give. That is because you cannot receive what you are not willing to give. Friendship doesn’t work if only one person is giving an effort, both people are responsible for its growth and the development of its emotional ties. This applies to any type of relationship: partners, family, work environments,etc.

In the case of true friends, if you want to keep them by your side, you have to work at it. This means that you can’t always be the one who talks, you also have to listen. That you have to be respectful and honest, that you have to help them to be a better person. That you have to be by their side in any situation and offer them your point of view to help with their growth.

So, if you do everything that we have mentioned for your friends, you will become someone that they can trust and that they always want to spend time with.