Is Fighting to Stay Together a Sign of Love?

March 2, 2019
If only one person is fighting to be together and the other isn’t putting in any effort, it should be clear that the relationship has no future and you should get out as soon as possible

Fighting to stay together can be considered very romantic. When it comes down to it, though, is it really worth fighting for a love whose days could be numbered?

So, what are the reasons for the struggle?

Perhaps the situation is that your partner abuses you, but you put up with it because you want the relationship to continue.

Does it always make sense to fight to stay together? Many people have said that love shouldn’t be a struggle. Love is created day by day, and both partners are involved in that process.

See: The 5 keys to respect in a relationship

When there is a struggle it becomes clear that something isn’t going well. However, you might be reluctant to accept it. You insist on trying to break down a wall that has formed between you.

Struggling to stay together is a real effort

A woman ignoring a man.
It’s important to keep in mind that fighting to stay together can be a huge waste of energy. You’re putting all of your time and effort into a relationship that’s showing signs of breaking apart.

Perhaps you have broken up and gotten back together many times with the same person. This is what we call an “intermittent relationship”.

It’s also possible that your partner lives far away, and distance is making things difficult. Nevertheless, there you are at the bottom of the crevasse, still hopeful and with unrealistic expectations.

Although you are fully capable of ending the fight to stay together, you know that many other people have the same struggle. You don’t want to take that step, just in case.

Love seems to justify almost anything and you think you must fight for love. But is this really true?

Discover: The characteristics of toxic love

Some couples in intermittent relationships don’t seem to realize that things will probably always be the same between them.

Maybe the relationship is long distance and it seems like you’ll never get together for good. How long will both of you continue to maintain the unrealistic hope that things will move forward?

Struggling for love

A woman who wants to stay together.

It might often seem like we are handed a relationship instead of having to work for it. It isn’t always that way, however.

When we fight for a relationship we should never have to put up with our partner abusing, disrespecting, or humiliating us. Neither should we have to put up with infidelity.

There are things in a relationship that must be endured but it should never mean that one person is allowed to make the other one suffer.

For example, if one person finds themselves out of a job there might be economic hardships, or the children can cause problems too…

In these situations both of you have to make the effort because the relationship needs to move forward and there are circumstances outside of your control.

However, if the other person is causing you the pain, why are you putting up with it? To let them destroy you?

In love, not everything is worth it

A couple sitting on a bench.
When you have to fight to stay together it’s time to rethink if the relationship is truly worth it.

In the examples we have already described, sometimes your relationship runs counter to the things that you know to be true. Nevertheless, you keep pushing forward in the name of love.

However you mustn’t forget that love isn’t everything and love can’t do everything. You can fall in love with someone who winds up hurting you, but it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.

Remember that you come first. After all, your happiness is the most important thing and if you’re fighting for nothing then it’s time to stop the self-deception and throw in the towel.

What’s more, you have to learn to see things in perspective in order to make the best decisions in your relationships.