Is Fighting to Stay Together a Sign of Love?

· January 22, 2018
If only one person is fighting to be together and the other isn’t putting in any effort, it should be clear that the relationship has no future and you should get out as soon as possible

Fighting to stay together can be considered very romantic. When it comes down to it, however, is it really worth it to fight for a love whose days could be numbered?

To figure this out, you need to think about the motive behind your struggle and how you’re fighting for it.

Perhaps the situation is that your partner abuses you, but you can withstand being by their side because you want the relationship to continue.

Does it always make sense to fight to be together? Many people have said that love shouldn’t be a struggle. Love is created day by day, and both partners are involved in that process.

See: The 5 keys to respect in a relationship

When there is a struggle it becomes clear that something isn’t going well, but you might be reluctant to accept it. You try to break down a wall that has formed between you.

Struggling to stay together is a significant effort

It’s important to keep in mind that fighting to stay together can be a huge waste of energy. You’re putting all of your time and effort into a relationship that shows signs of collapse.

Perhaps you have broken up and gotten back together many times with the same person. This is what we call an “intermittent relationship.”

It’s also possible that your partner lives far away, however, and it seems like it will never change. Nevertheless, there you are at the bottom of the crevasse, still hopeful and with unrealistic expectations.

Although you are fully capable of ending the fight to stay together, it’s something that almost everyone has done and you know exactly why you do it.

Love seems to justify almost anything and there’s a powerful belief associated with it: you must fight and endure for love. But is this really true?

Discover: The characteristics of toxic love

It depends. If a couple is involved in an intermittent relationship and whenever they start over again it only lasts for a few months, when will they realize that this is always going to be their dynamic?

If the relationship is long distance and it seems like you’ll never stay together in the future, how long will both of you continue to maintain the unrealistic hope that things will move forward?

“In the past, young people went through more struggle for their relationships”

This phrase, often spoken by an elderly person, makes a good point.

It might seem like today we are handed a relationship instead of having to work for it. It isn’t always that way, however.

Fighting for a relationship should never be misunderstood as, “I have to put up with my partner abusing me, disrespecting me, or humiliating me,” or “I have to put up with them being unfaithful.”

No. There are things in a relationship that must be endured but it never means that one person is allowed to make the other suffer.

Read: Don’t let love change who you are

For example, if one person finds themselves out of a job there might be economic hardships, or the children can be too rebellious…

In these situations both of you have to make the effort because the relationship is moving forward and there are circumstances outside your control.

If the other person is causing you pain, however, why are you putting up with it? To let them destroy you?

In love, not everything is worth it

When you have to fight to stay together it’s time to rethink it the relationship is truly worthwhile.

In the examples we have already described, sometimes your relationship runs counter to the things that you know to be true. Nevertheless, you keep pushing in the name of love.

Maybe, you forget that love isn’t everything and love can’t do everything. You can fall in love with someone who winds up hurting you, but it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.

Remember: You come first. After all, your happiness is the most important thing and if you’re fighting for nothing it’s time to stop the self-deception and throw in the towel.

What’s more, you have to learn to see things in perspective in order to make the best decisions…and above all, to prevent the things that you do from being wasted efforts that only you are responsible for.