Every Strong Person Has a Strong Story to Share
It has been said that you aren’t truly alive until life hits you. Or, until you learn to be a strong person.
Adversity is a powerful source of knowledge. However, it’s important to know that happiness and times of well-being are times when we amplify our learning.
During these times, we discover what really identifies us. We also discover what is worth fighting for.
That being said, one thing that is clear is that everybody is guided by a map of experiences. We all have baggage that nobody sees, but it’s still there.
This baggage is full of dark moments, light moments, and tears. This is a weight we will always carry on our shoulders.
This makes us strong and wise, even though we know that this wisdom sometimes comes from pain.
In this article, we want you to think about this.
You were born to be strong: discover why
It may be hard to believe, but human beings are much stronger than we think.
The reason for this is easy to explain: our brain is programmed to survive. Our genetic code predisposes us to learn from adversity.
In a way, this explains why it’s so tough to “be happy.” For our brain, being happy isn’t useful. But it is the state that we all dream of achieving.
The key to survival is being able to react to danger, threats, or loss.
Happiness can only be reached when we are able to beat the storm. Human beings have advanced throughout history by destroying obstacles and difficulties. In essence, this is the knowledge that counts. This allows us to reach true well-being.
We are born stronger than we think. However, many time we aren’t conscious of it.
Your personal story: The shell of a traumatic childhood
Behind every person there is usually one or two traumatic events. It could be a loss, an emotional shipwreck, disillusionment, or some violation of our person.
- When we have experienced one of these events in our childhood, we will always take these experiences with us.
- A child doesn’t have the psychological tools necessary to face adversity. This has serious implications for a child’s development. It can also affect their personality.
- However, as neurologist and psychiatrist Boris Cyrulnik explains, a traumatic childhood doesn’t necessarily translate to a traumatic adulthood. We need to be able to confront these events.
- We can recover. This child should count on support and help. With these, he or she will see the world from a new point of view with both assurance and confidence.
- We don’t forget the pain, but we learn to live with it. This is something we should keep in mind.
We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to be happy again.
The resilience and strength that are in every strong person
The word “resilience” describes a physical attribute. It talks about the materials that change or are able to recover their original form, even when we apply a destructive force.
Now, in psychology, it doesn’t work exactly the same. When people suffer a personal trauma, we don’t return to being the same as before.
- However, “not being the same” doesn’t mean that we become incapable of being happy or well-balanced.
- Someone who is different is also a stronger person.
- This process is called resilience. Our brain is “programmed” to face adversity.
- We want to advance. We want to live and learn from fear and difficulty to move forward.
But then why don’t we always achieve it? This could be due to three reasons:
- How we were raised and our genetic makeup
- The social context we live in
- Not having adequate psychological strategies
We learn resilience
There are some who know how to face difficulties in life. Perhaps their mother was a model for them. It could even be that they naturally know how to look at things in a mild manner.
However, for all the rest of us: resilience can be trained.
There are three phrases you can repeat every day to be able to achieve strength. They can really help:
- I have the ability to face difficulties. Also, I have values, good conduct, self-esteem, and people who love me.
- I am a person who believes in hope and who has faith in myself.
- I can resolve problems, communicate, defend myself, have good relationships, and fight for my happiness.
These are three easy thoughts that can “mold” our brain to give us certain virtues. These include strength, courage, and the indispensable pillar that helps us walk through life: resilience.
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All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Folke, C., Carpenter, S. R., Walker, B., Scheffer, M., Chapin, T., & Rockström, J. (2010). Resilience thinking: Integrating resilience, adaptability and transformability. Ecology and Society. https://doi.org/10.5751/ES-03610-150420
- Følling, I. S., Solbjør, M., & Helvik, A. S. (2015). Previous experiences and emotional baggage as barriers to lifestyle change – A qualitative study of Norwegian Healthy Life Centre participants Service organization, utilization, and delivery of care. BMC Family Practice. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12875-015-0292-z
- Easterlin, R. A. (2003). Explaining happiness. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1633144100
- Briere, J., Kaltman, S., & Green, B. L. (2008). Accumulated childhood trauma and symptom complexity. Journal of Traumatic Stress. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.20317