Can You Forget Unrequited Love?
Have you ever wondered if it’s truly possible to forget unrequited love?
Unfortunately, life is not always like the movies or books. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the object of your affection doesn’t feel the same way you do.
It might seem that your world has fallen apart and you’ll never be happy. However, deep down you know that time is capable of healing all wounds.
In today’s article, we’ll try to answer the question: is it possible to forget unrequited love?
Why do we choose the impossible?For various reasons, there are loves that simply cannot “be.” Although you have fought and done everything in your power, if you’re not meant to be in a relationship with that person…it simply won’t happen.
This might sound harsh, but the truth is that there is a type of love that just isn’t worth fighting for.
Which type of love?
The love that isn’t reciprocated.
This so-called “unrequited love” appears when two people don’t feel the same about each other. This is perhaps due to sexual orientation, the fact that one person is already in a relationship, or the fact that he or she simply doesn’t feel the same way.
Why do we cling to the illusion of being with someone who cannot return our love?
Some people will say that it’s because we like to suffer, while others will say that you don’t get to choose who you fall in love with.
You might also happen to fall in love with or become interested in someone who is “unattainable” or “impossible:” a married colleague at work, someone whose sexual orientation is different, a person who is much older or younger, and so on.
Do you really want to commit?
It’s possible to say that those who fall into unrequited love are not actually looking for a stable relationship, and want to escape the “problems” that having a real partner entails.
Another reason to be infatuated with impossible love is idealization. You believe that this person is perfect for you, and if they were by your side your life would be wonderful.
In fact, you’re not in love with a person, but rather an ideal. You make them the prince or princess from your fairy tales, the one who will save you from danger.
Finally, there are people who are attracted to others who are “forbidden” because they like the risk, the rush, or the feeling of being a lover to someone they can’t have.
You don’t need to think that it is wrong or foolish to have these feelings: it may be a natural way of escaping commitment and enjoying the moment.
See also: Self-love 101: How to love yourself
Can you forget unrequited love?The answer to this question depends on several factors. For example:
- How in love you are,
- How dependent you feel on the other person,
- The feelings you experience when they are with you.
Unlike other relationships (where there is communication between both parties), in impossible love the disappointment never comes because the illusion or hope that things will change or improve will be maintained.
This is the primary problem: remaining “bound” to a relationship that has no future – in reality, it doesn’t even have a present. This does not allow you to find someone who really loves and accepts you.
In order to forget unrequited love you have to want to eliminate it from your mind. If you wish to remain attached to an illusion, no techniques or advice will help you.
Love yourself first
In addition, it’s important to know the reasons behind why you chose to fall in love with someone who is unavailable (especially if this isn’t the first time it’s happened).
Choosing unavailable people may be due to a fear of commitment, of repeating emotional experiences, or due to the pleasure of idolizing someone idyllic – just like in the movies.
And here’s something else to think about: have you fallen in love with a real person or a fantasy character? Do you really know them well enough to know that they’re perfect for you?
Many times, people have an image that is formed in their minds. When you realize that the other person isn’t the prince or princess, however, you’ve already automatically “fallen in love.”
We recommend you read: Running helps with negative emotions
At that point ,you need to do everything possible to be good to yourself. This means accepting and loving who you are.
No matter what, you must eliminate the belief that you’re not worthy of love. On the contrary: you have the right to a healthy and complete relationship.
Finally, we invite you to be open to new experiences if you want to forget your unrequited love.
Staying at home and crying is not an option. Get involved with new activities where there are people who share your interests. Go out on the weekends. Agree to have drinks with your coworkers. you never know where or when or where you’ll find love!
That special person might even be closer than you think, but your obsession with someone unattainable has made you blind to their signals.
Stop looking in the wrong direction!
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
Bringle, R. G., Winnick, T., & Rydell, R. J. (2013). The prevalence and nature of unrequited love. Sage Open, 3(2), 2158244013492160.
Baumeister, R. F., & Dhavale, D. A. W. N. (2001). Two sides of romantic rejection. Interpersonal rejection, 55-71.
Regan, P. C. (2000). Love relationships.