Avoid Having Bad Luck in Love

· May 5, 2018
Don’t obsess about having a partner. Stop repeating the same relationship pattern by becoming blind during the falling in love phase and allowing things to happen that you should not. Start to choose consciously.

Many people complain about having bad luck in love, but is it really bad luck that’s coming your way? Is the problem that you’re just unable to avoid it, or do you seek it out?

We think that when it comes to relationships, the latter explanation is often the correct one.

This is especially true if you complain that you always meet the same type of person who doesn’t respect you, or doesn’t love you the way that you think you deserve.

See: Can you forget unrequited love?

We have a lot to say about this so-called bad luck in love.

Repeating the same romantic patterns

bad luck in love

When you repeat the same pattern in a relationship, it isn’t bad luck. In reality, it means that you’re blind to recognizing that you don’t learn from your relationships and you always fall into the same traps.

If you’re always with a partner who verbally abuses you, why do your relationships last?

It’s true that during the infatuation phase that person may be very loving, and then change.

However, at the moment of that change you have to move on. At the first instance of lack of respect or verbal abuse you need to leave with your head held high.

What happens to some people, however, is that they excuse everything under the banner of “love” and support the situation with their current partner. Then, they repeat the same patter with the next one and the one after that. The outcome is always the same.

You need to reflect on the mistakes that are your own responsibility, but perhaps you may blame the other person without being fully aware of certain expectations. These may include:

  • Waiting for things to change: You give them one chance, two or three if needed. The love you feel for that person is so great (or so you think) that you hope they change their attitude or action. However, it doesn’t change.
  • Having expectations that are too high: You want your partner to be perfect, the only one for you, your better half…and for that reason, you’ll fight and withstand whatever it takes because it has to be perfect for you.
  • Letting things slide the first time: The first time they yell at you it doesn’t affect you, but after the tenth time maybe that will be enough. It’s better not to even allow it once. Otherwise, you’re allowing it to become the norm.

Discover: Self-love 101: how to love yourself

Unconscious choices can lead to bad luck in love

Covered eyes
Bad luck in love can also appear when you don’t consciously choose your partner. This means that sometimes, you don’t make a decision at all.

The first person who comes your way is the one. You don’t even consider rejecting them, because look at how kind and open they are!

This is a sign of a significant lack of self-esteem. You need to learn how to say “no.” You need to find out if you actually want to start a relationship and what you’re looking for before “settling” on a partner.

Do you wait for someone to notice you first, so that you can then focus only on them?

If this is the case, you don’t have bad luck in love – you have low self-esteem, and self-esteem is something absolutely necessary to care for yourself and protect yourself from harm’s way.

The need to have a partner at any cost

Need to have a partner

Bad luck in love can materialize in other ways, especially if you don’t give yourself enough time to find someone that you want to be with. As a result, you don’t give yourself time to be alone, either.

This results in the obsession to have a partner and the anxiety that’s fuelled by the people around you and society in general.

Having a partner has become synonymous with happiness. Being part of a couple means building a family and being happy.

But if this is so true, then why are there so many unhappy couples?

It’s because not everyone is acting consciously.

You don’t have an obligation to have a partner. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Abandon those entrenched beliefs that “I’m too old to get married,” or any other such nonsense, that does nothing but cause you harm.

Having bad luck in love can bring about a lot of pain. After all, you’re stumbling over the same stone again and again.

Don’t obsess about having a partner. Stop repeating the same relationship pattern by becoming blind during the falling in love phase and allowing things to happen that you should not. Start to choose consciously.

When you do that, you’ll stop having bad luck in love.