The Importance of Foreplay or Games Before Sex

Foreplay is an essential aspect of sexual relations. Despite this, it's a neglected aspect. What are its benefits? What should you do?

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Sexuality should be a source of pleasure, relaxation, and human connection. However, for many people, sexual encounters aren’t so satisfying. This tends to happen because of the absence of foreplay. It’s often said that women are the ones who need it the most; however, men also benefit from its practice. Find out all about the importance of foreplay today.

The daily routine, rush, and obligations don’t always leave us the time or energy to look after our sex lives properly. Because of this, sex, for many couples, becomes monotonous and automatic, and focuses only on penetration. Realizing the importance of foreplay means that we’ll take it easy, savor the moment, and really seek to enjoy the shared time together. Do you want to know more about it?

What’s the importance of foreplay?

Foreplay encompasses all the activities that take place before having sex. In fact, any action or element that helps to create a favorable atmosphere, and to increase the desire of both partners, falls into this category.

We all know about the existence of these preliminary activities, and, although both men and women desire and enjoy them, we don’t always give them the importance they deserve. It’s important to remember that we aren’t machines. We’re complex beings with a body, a mind, and emotions, and these three components play a key role in the sexual encounter.

Foreplay and games before sex help to increase desire and arousal, the first two phases of the human sexual response. Without them, we fall almost directly into the plateau and orgasm phases, and deprive ourselves of a fundamental part of the process. So why miss out on this?

What are the benefits of foreplay?

The benefits and importance of foreplay are both physical and psychological. In particular, they make sex a much more complete and rewarding experience. Here are some of its main effects.

Prevents sexual intercourse from being uncomfortable or painful

Foreplay increases arousal and produces a series of changes in the body that prepare it for the sexual act. To be more precise, in the case of women, it helps to produce a correct lubrication and the dilation of the vagina. This avoids the discomfort or pain that can appear when foreplay is ignored.

Increases and lengthens the pleasure

When desire increases, there’s a greater reception to the stimuli. The looks, the kisses, the caresses… each act is lived out and enjoyed much more intensely. In this way, the pleasure is extended and the time is prolonged as long as the partners wish. The focus isn’t on reaching orgasm, but on enjoying every moment.

In addition, all sexual activity is much more pleasurable when high levels of arousal have been reached. For the same reason, dedicating some time to foreplay will make the encounter more passionate and gratifying for both of you.

Prevents sexual dysfunctions

Foreplay can prevent the appearance of certain sexual dysfunctions because it helps to focus the attention on enjoyment rather than on performance. At the same time, it allows greater communication and complicity between the couple.

Enhances emotional connection and intimacy

We can’t forget that sex has an emotional component, especially if it’s practiced between two people who are committed to each other. Thus, foreplay is a great ally to increase the connection and the feeling of intimacy. Dedicating time to foreplay can help strengthen the bond and trust between both partners.

How to practice foreplay?

When it comes to foreplay, there are no limits beyond mutual consent. On the contrary, creativity can be the best tool. Of course, foreplay can include kisses, caresses, and words spoken seductively, but it goes much further than that. Here are some ideas for you:

• Send text messages to your partner telling them how much you want them. This will create an anticipation that will increase throughout the day until you get together. You can also place a note somewhere in the house.
• Create a conducive environment using candles, scents, lingerie, or soft music. Stimulation of the senses is essential to arouse desire.
• You can introduce some sex toys and other games such as handcuffs, handkerchiefs, sex dice, cards with questions and challenges.
• Roleplay. Adopting different characters and fulfilling certain fantasies can be very stimulating for both of you.
• Use sexual assertiveness. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they want, express what you’re feeling, and try different types of stimulation.
• Use creams or oils to massage your partner. Afterwards, the two of you can switch roles.

Pre-sex games help us enjoy the moment

Above all, the most important thing is to focus attention on the moment. As much as possible, you should put aside everything else, and all the pressures in life, in order to enjoy the time together calmly. Remember that sex isn’t a sprint to achieve an orgasm, but, rather, a pleasant long-distance race in which you can enjoy every step.

It’s obvious that we won’t always have the same amount of time available. However, as far as possible, we shouldn’t neglect this aspect. The quality of our sexual encounters will increase notably.