Four Situations When It’s a Good Idea to Get Back Together with Your Ex

Are you thinking about getting back together with your ex but aren’t sure it’s a good idea? We’ll give you some clues today.
Four Situations When It’s a Good Idea to Get Back Together with Your Ex

Written by Okairy Zuñiga

Last update: 26 May, 2022

Did things with your partner reach a point when it was no longer possible to continue the relationship without hurting each other? Are you now considering getting back together with your ex? Would that be a bad idea?

These kinds of doubts are normal and very common. After all, if your relationship is over, it ended for a reason. In general, giving your ex a second chance is a bad idea because you can fall into a vicious cycle or a toxic relationship.

There are some cases, however, in which that opportunity can pay off.

Today, we’ll tell you about the situations in which you should give your ex another try. It doesn’t mean that you should forgive and forget every time that person betrays you, but you should carefully evaluate whether you’re interested in rekindling your relationship.

1-There’s much more than love

getting back together with your ex
The first factor that you should consider when it comes to getting back together with your ex is if that person offers you what you want in your life. We’re not talking about material things – but rather, about your psychological and emotional well being.

A common example of this is when your relationship ended because one of you moved away and you didn’t want a long distance relationship. If now you’re back in the same place and you realize that they continue to offer you security, affection, fun, loyalty, and friendship, then maybe you could find that you really do love each other.

It might seem like we’re talking about comfort and not wanting to find a new partner. Still, it’s worth asking yourself if you want to try to pick up where you left off. In the end you might find that the time you spent apart and dated other people allowed to see that your relationship had a lot of good things going for it.

Relationships that reunite after separation usually come back even stronger and with greater commitment from both partners.

We recommend you read:What’s the ideal type of love?

2-When the problem wasn’t greater than your love

The decision to get back together with your ex is completely your own, and based on how important you view the reasons you broke up. It also depends on how much the two of you have evolved, what responsibility you’ve taken for your actions, and how hard you’ve worked on your personal growth.
It’s important that you consider the situation and put things in perspective. There’s no need to subject either of you to judgment or melodrama. There are certain issues that might not be relevant, but in the moment you view them as huge problems because you’re in a bad mood, you’ve had a hard day, or it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

It could also be that the situation no longer matters because the conditions have changed or it no longer affects you.

Here, you need to determine whether the relationship was more good than bad and if the problem could be overcome or not.

If you decide to give it another try, be clear about the issues and set an end date for this trial. The most important thing is that you definitively overcome the problem and not add any new ones.

3-Their actions speak louder than words

Their actions speak louder than words
Before you get back together with your ex, you need to decide whether their actions really do match what they are saying. Everyone knows how beautiful words can sound, butthat doesn’t always mean they’re sincere. You have to be consistent.

For example, if the relationship ended because your partner was very jealous and now they say that they’ve learned to control their attitude, you might feel interested again. Before you agree to continue, however, evaluate their behavior well to see if they really mean it:

  • Do they ask you where you are all the time, and who you’re with?
  • Do they pick up your phone and read your messages without asking?

You need to trust in your instincts and not let yourself get caught up in the words you want to hear. There are certain situations, such as infidelity and jealousy, that you should be very careful around before resuming a relationship – these are not simple issues to change.

4-You’re both committed to improving the relationship

A final factor to consider before you get back together with your ex is their commitment to improving your relationship. Giving them a second chance means that you will both work with love and responsibility. Your communication must be sincere.

Some people have worked very hard to maintain a relationship until they suddenly become weary and end it. At that point, the other person realizes what they’ve lost and try to bring the pair back together.

Problems arise when the person who has been trying for so long already is no longer willing to work. If you give in to the opportunity but are hoping that this time it’s the other person’s turn to put in all the work to improve things, the situation might only get worse.

A good option in this case is to reflect carefully on your previous relationship and establish new boundaries to strengthen your commitment and help things flow.

Getting back together with an ex can work if you both are committed

Getting back together with an ex can work if you both are committed
There are those who say that once a relationship is over, you must close that chapter completely. This is a valid point, but it’s not always the most successful tactic. The important thing is that you are both comfortable with the decision.

That decision can only be made by you as individuals, and must be based on your emotions, expectations, and personal commitments. Your argument will have to be solid. Then talk to your ex and see if they’re on the same page and are willing to take the chance.

Nevertheless, always take care of both of your emotional health.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Hoyt, M. F. (2008). Solution-focused couple therapy.
  • Doss, B. D., Thum, Y. M., Sevier, M., Atkins, D. C., & Christensen, A. (2005). Improving relationships: mechanisms of change in couple therapy. Journal of consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73(4), 624.
  • Matson, P. A., Chung, S. E., & Ellen, J. M. (2012). When they break up and get back together: length of adolescent romantic relationships and partner concurrency. Sexually transmitted diseases, 39(4), 281.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.