Queen bee syndrome is not recognized by professionals. However, there are many people that seek help to identify it and point out the behaviors that some women have based on competitiveness.
In the hives, the queen bee has a protagonist role: she is surrounded by many male bees as well as females that are not fertile. This makes her feel greater than those around her, and this is a position that many women long for.
Society and Competition
From a young age, we are taught to compete with those around us.
In fact, the impulse to compete that we feel comes from the eagerness to compare ourselves to others, something that can be seen in a lot of adults. In its intent to make us better, what it actually does is cause our self esteem to lower.
Because of this, when we try to improve ourselves, we don’t do it to better ourselves, but instead to show of. In reality, we often do it to be better than those around us so that they will be envious.
Queen bee syndrome it about all of this, but is particularly focused on women.
Women in society
Women deal with a lot of social pressure. They have to deal with impossible beauty standards, the pressure to be perfect and to do every thing right. Above all else, they’re also taught to see other women as their competition.
Why do we see other women as competition, but not men?
This is often because we identify more with other women. However, it’s also due to a series of behaviors that we learn from a young age: to critique other women, to judge them, and to want to be better.
As we see it, these behaviors need to be done away with. However, they continue to be so present that they cause some women to end up suffering from queen bee syndrome.
Queen bee syndrome: how to detect it
In order to know if a woman has queen bee syndrome, you just have to focus on her behavior. On occasion, you may think that she has a big ego, that she is very competitive, or that she is envious. However, if you take a closer look, there’s more:
- You always find her talking poorly about other women and gossiping about what they do or won’t stop doing. Everything she says is always negative, degrading and humiliating.
- Her eagerness to show off and put herself ahead of other regardless of the costs is evident. This could include losing friendships and building a very disconcerting passive-aggressive behavior.
- She will try to make other women into her “subjects” to make herself stronger. By doing this, she will lower the self-esteem and moral of those she considers to be her enemies.
As we can see, this attitude is very toxic. It causes a lot of pain to other people that only had the misfortune of being around someone that suffers from this syndrome.
But what’s behind this syndrome?
Women with a lot of insecurity
Women who suffer from queen bee syndrome need to trample and undermine the self esteem of those they consider to be their rivals. However, they do this because they do not feel confident in themselves.
Because of this, in reality, they are projecting their insecurity onto other women. By doing so, they’re trying to get the security that they’re lacking in a harmful manner.
Every time that we see someone treating someone else poorly, someone trying to show off, or someone “cool,” we should know the truth. They’re not like that because they think they are better, stronger and powerful. In reality, behind that facade there is a wounded, fragile person with low self esteem and a lot of unresolved insecurity.
Despite all of this, we have to learn to be careful around these types of people and from those who suffer from queen bee syndrome because they can cause us a lot of pain. Without realizing it, they make us participants in their beliefs, in their insecurity and in the fears that they cannot recognize for themselves.
Have you ever suffered from queen been syndrome? Have you recognized anyone around you (at work, personal life…) who has experienced it?