Learn to Be Alone

· June 16, 2016
We're taught that being alone is the same as loneliness, but that's not true. Everyone should learn to be alone and happy be with themselves.

When you think of the word “alone” and everything that it implies, you might feel a little fear. Fear of being lonely, having no one by your side, fear of abandonment…

That’s a funny feeling when the world is actually full of people!

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But why does being alone make us feel so bad? What has caused humans to reject loneliness? Today we want to find the answers to these and many more questions.

The origin of the fear of being alone

This unfounded fear of being alone started in your childhood and early education. The society we live in has strengthened and reinforced this ongoing fear of having no one by your side, of being on your own.

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This fear has led to many disorders, like emotional dependency for example. People who have this problem can’t be without a partner because they feel empty, lifeless, and depressed.

It’s easy to forget that being alone is not a problem—it’s not even something negative. That’s what we’ve been made to believe, but it’s false.

Haven’t you ever discovered that something you have been taught turned out to be something else entirely in the end?

The same goes with solitude. The truth is that you shouldn’t be afraid. Far from considering being alone to be a terrible situation, you should view solitude as an opportunity for personal growth and better self-awareness. Learn to be alone!

There’s one person who will never let you down: you

When a partner leaves you, when a family member passes away, when a friend turns their back on you…all of these situations will leave you feeling alone or abandoned. Disappointment will add to your pain and make you think that you’re doomed to be alone forever.

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The truth, however, is that in this life you’ll suffer a thousand and one disappointments: your best friends may betray you, the person you chose to be by your side could suddenly change…should you rail against the injustice? Is life so unfair?

Of course. You perceive unfairness as the fact that nothing in life is certain. You have to learn to accept that other people can fail you at any time—you could be “abandoned” and left out in the cold.

But what you may not have been aware of is that there really is someone out there who will never fail you, because they value you above anyone else. They will always be there for you, and will always stay by your side. That person is you.

Learn to be alone with your loneliness

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One of the biggest problems people have is that they don’t know how to make peace with loneliness. What should you do? How can you erase those feelings of emptiness?

We would be lying if we told you it was easy, but what’s certain is that it’s not impossible!

Solitude can be your best friend, but it takes effort to get to know her better. We’d like to share some tips to help you slowly adjust to it.

This doesn’t mean that you should avoid the world just to experience loneliness. Simply learn to love your solitude when it happens.

  • Pay attention to your internal dialogue: if you’re constantly telling yourself that being alone is something bad, then it will be. Ask yourself if that statement is really true and try to change your way of seeing things.

Can you argue with yourself?

  • Spend some time with yourself: why shouldn’t you spend a weekend alone? Why do you feel so bad when you go to a café by yourself?

Learn to do the things that you think you should always do with a partner or a friend. You have yourself! Spend some time with just you.

  • Open yourself to others: have you ever wondered if that empty feeling you have is self-inflicted? Sometimes you might feel lonely because you’re not open to the people around you, or you refuse to meet others.

Enjoying your solitude doesn’t mean isolating yourself from the rest of the world. When you find that balance you’ll find true happiness.

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Have you ever felt alone? Have you struggled with that empty feeling? While it’s difficult, you can let go of the void! Open up, meet new people, strive to be yourself.

Solitude can become your best friend if you truly learn to be alone.