Countless books and self-help gurus are dedicated to trying to teach us how to be a better person and the importance of being humble. To do this, they encourage you to practice self-awareness, inner attention, and better self-esteem.
But there’s one aspect of this that you must never forget: being a better person should never let you think that you’re better than other people. Your only benchmark is yourself.
Surely you know some people whose attitude, behavior, and way of interacting with others precisely demonstrate that uncomfortable position that they believe they’re better than you.
Today we invite you to reflect on this a bit more.
When you don’t seek to be better than others, it makes you better than many
There’s a curious trend catching on these days that experts are calling “spiritual materialism.” This refers to the interest someone has in reaching a high level of self-awareness.
That’s where a lot of us find ourselves apart from the rest.
In the search for understanding oneself, for taking care of your self-esteem, and growing stronger and better every day, some people will misunderstand those concepts and focus on the wrong thing: trying to be better than the people around them.
That’s why it’s important to have the proper understanding of the idea. You can develop new strategies to strengthen your self-esteem, enrich your relationships, and achieve greater things, but never at the expense of others or to try to appear better than anyone else.
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A humble personality
People who are filled with pride and need to compete or pretend they’re superior to others often are hiding very low self-esteem.
The pleasure of appearing “superior” by showing you have greater skill or even humiliating another person with an arrogant attitude often only feeds and worsens their low self-esteem.
- In your social circle, whether it’s at work or among friends and family, there’s always that person who uses irony or ridicule to diminish those around them, while they try to show off their skills and ability to be better than anyone else.
- It’s also possible that you know someone who embodies the opposite of this type of behavior. Sometimes you can find people who seem to like to be victims.
- These people “suffer the most” and understand rejection or a lack of appreciation better than the rest.
At the most basic level, they’re the opposite side of the same coin: low self-esteem, which keeps them from being able to confront others as they suffer humiliation or deceit.
Being humble means not wanting or trying to be better than anyone else
No one should need to feel the desire to compete or achieve something in order to be the best when it causes pain and suffering in others.
- The greatest pleasure lies in improving yourself, becoming a better person every day by competing against yourself and never exploiting the weaknesses of others.
- If yesterday you weren’t sure you were able to accomplish something at work or to catch the eye of someone you are attracted to and today you manage to achieve it, you’ve managed to become “better.”
- This is where your greatness can truly lie: growing and improving yourself every day in reference to yourself and not other people. He who becomes obsessed with appearances and the race to greatness forgets who he is.
- A person who wants to be better than everyone else is not humble. Humility is something you should strive for every day in everything you do, with all of your actions. Humility, far from being a sign of weakness or giving in to others, is one of your greatest strengths.
- That’s because it gives you awareness and acceptance of yourself.
Improve yourself every day
Once you accept it, your main task will be none other than to continue to grow as a person and become better every day. Aspire to attain the happiness that resides in the little things that also enrich you.
Being a better person also reflects on those who surround you.
To conclude, you know that some of us have become used to being around those people whose hearts are consumed by vanity and pride. Far from being angry or filled with contempt, however, you should remember that it’s not worth harboring negative feelings toward them.
- What you should do is accept them as they are, set your boundaries, and turn away. True success is not found through arrogance or trying to be better than others.
- The noblest triumph you can achieve is to accept yourself as you are and respect others, even if you don’t share their beliefs or behaviors.
Your reward will come at the end, when you feel good about who you are…or, on the other hand, with the realization that your thirst for competition has left you all alone.