Four Signs That a Friend Is Using You

Having a friend that is using you could cause you a lot of emotional damage. Keep reading and learn to identify fake friends.
Four Signs That a Friend Is Using You

Written by Okairy Zuñiga

Last update: 15 December, 2022

Every day we interact with different people.  Some of them become true friends whom we can always count on.  But others just try to reap the benefits of the friendship we bring them. Learning that a friend is using you is never easy, yet not knowing can result in even more emotional pain.

It’s not always easy to tell if a friend is using you, or if they are a true friend.  However, there are certain situations or characteristics that make it easy to identify a negative friendship. If we pay attention, we can pinpoint when someone is getting close to us with further intentions.

A friend is using you if: you only hear from them when they need something

This is the basic characteristic of a false or self-interested friendship; when your friend only comes around when they need something from you.  This could involve very simple things, like loaning them a book or taking them somewhere. Or, it could involve more complicated situations, like lending them money.

Helping your friends out is a sign of love and affection. But, if you start to notice that this individual only comes to you to ask for things, it might be time to set stronger boundaries.

They go out with friends and don’t invite you

It just makes sense to want our friends to get to know each other and relate among themselves. But, if a new friend begins to go out with your friends and doesn’t invite you– and practically hides it–this could be a sign of alarm.  

It’s important to be objective if this situation arises, as sometimes it is easy to feel a little threatened or envious without real cause.  That’s why you should analyze the situation carefully before moving away from the individual.

Uses your personal information for their own benefit

Some fake friends get close for the sole purpose of obtaining information about you that could be used to their benefit.  This situation could be so clear, and sometimes you might not take it seriously.

This could appear in several situations, which is why you should stay alert. Your friend could try to use your contact information for a job or to get favors under your name. Besides having a fake friend, you could become involved in misunderstandings without even knowing what is going on.

You might also like: 7 Habits of Good Friends

You are constantly neglected

A real friendship is sincere and not self-interested.  However, on certain occasions, we need our friends. You might need someone to listen to you. Or, you might need a favor or help with a problem.  If you notice that your friend always refuses to help you, it is probably because the friendship is not very sincere.

This point is strongly related to the first point, as it is very common that in fake friendships, they always ask you for help or try to benefit from you, but they disappear when you need them.

Not everyone that we meet in our lives has the intent of using us or causing us harm. However, it is important to be alert to avoid being used by those that have the negative intentions.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.