Forgive Your Parents; They Did the Best They Could

Forgive your parents. Whether you believe it or not, their mistakes have had a positive outcome. It’s the fact that you, now that you are aware of them, can take a different path because you know better.
Forgive Your Parents; They Did the Best They Could

Last update: 27 May, 2022

Forgive your parents for any lack of affection to you, for any poor experience you had, for all the pain and mistreatment you may have known. We know that you’re suffering the consequences of the actions you now judge. We understand that they hurt you. They made you hold a grudge against them.

However, they did the best they could. If you had shared their experiences and situations, you might have wound up doing the same things.

Forgive Your Parents Because They Did the Best They Could

affection between father and son
Forgive your parents because no one taught them how to fulfill that important role they decided to take on.

We know the phrase that has run through your mind on many occasions: “It would be better if they had never had me!”

This is unfair, however. In addition, this is something that your parents don’t deserve to hear. Put yourself in their place. Ask yourself how you would feel if your child told you that.

Forgiving Your Parents Can Help You

Here are some ways how forgiving your parents will help you:

  • You’ll be able to forgive yourself when you find yourself making similar mistakes or even totally different ones. No one is free from making mistakes. This is especially true for someone having the responsibility of raising another human being.
  • You’ll feel better, both emotionally and physically. Anger, bitterness and resentment are a heavy load to carry. If you don’t release those emotions, your body and state of mind will pay the price.
  • You’ll be able to maintain healthier relationships. It’s hard to let go of childhood grudges, but doing so will help you get emotionally unstuck. Only then you’ll begin to break the cycle of suffering you have unconsciously repeated as an adult.
  • Your life will acquire a new meaning. You’ll no longer define your life by how you suffered when a child. As a result, you’ll develop a broader perspective on life and even make room for empathy and compassion in your soul.

Moreover, forgive your parents because, whether you believe it or not, their mistakes have had a positive outcome.

Do you know what it is? It’s the fact that you, now that you are aware of them, can take a different path.  You know better.

If the resentment continues to dwell in your heart, however, you’ll wind up doing the same things even without realizing it. And, as inconceivable as it may seem to you, you may end up doing worse things.

Release Yourself of This Burden

Free your soul.
Sometimes, anger about a disastrous childhood caused by parents who weren’t able to raise you better can cause you to carry a burden of resentment for years. You might not know why, but you can’t find true happiness. There may be something that you don’t want to see or to heal.

Your pride can sometimes prevent you from taking that first step of forgiveness, and you wait for them to come apologizing to you.

Why make your suffering last any longer than it has to? It’s your own happiness that’s at stake. It’s your responsibility to choose the path you want to follow. You’re no longer a little kid at the mercy of your parents.

Now, you’re an adult who has to take the first step, without waiting for someone else to do so. That doesn’t mean groveling or humbling yourself.

This is one of the best decisions you can make because it will free you from that heavy load that coats your world in a thick darkness.

Everything You Can Learn

a happy family

Maybe your parents didn’t learn from all the pain that they caused you. Nevertheless, there is someone who understood it–and that’s you!

The damage that was done can make you feel deeply hurt, but be confident that there was something good about it all. After all, it’s you who decide whether to turn everything around or to keep carrying that load that will direct you to take the same steps you believe are harmful.

If everything in life were perfect, then we would never learn. It’s curious that we often learn from the most negative experiences. They help us grow, mature and become better people.

Once you were a small child who didn’t have the power to change things, but now you’re an adult who is capable of changing their course. You can decide whether to forgive your parents and release that awful anchorage to a distant past or to live your life with resentment and hatred toward two people who didn’t know better.

So what will you decide? 

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • María Martina Casullo. (2005). La capacidad para perdonar desde una perspectiva psicológica. Revista de Psicologia de La PUCP.
  • García, J. A. (2013). Perdonar y pedir perdón.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.