Emotional Predators and How to Avoid Them

In this article, learn how an emotional predator behaves and how to avoid them.
Emotional Predators and How to Avoid Them
Bernardo Peña

Written and verified by the psychologist Bernardo Peña.

Last update: 12 May, 2022

A look, a word, or even a simple insinuation can be enough to start a self-destructive process in somebody else. The behaviors of emotional predators can at times even appear harmless.

The victims generally don’t let anybody in and they suffer in silence. Through a process of emotional harassment or psychological abuse, a person can make someone else break down. Just like there are predators who hunt down and kill other animals for food, humans also partake in this behavior. It’s known as emotional harassment.

Emotional harassment and psychological abuse can happen in any environment, such as in a relationship, at work, within the family, or in a group of friends.

How does an emotional predator behave?

An emotional predator can be of any age, social status, culture, or gender. They can seem to be normal people, although they tend to be stingy, egocentric, and narcissistic.

Their goal is to break down their victims emotionally, personally, psychologically, and socially. They are individuals who feel greatly inferior, although they don’t give off this impression. This is because they prefer to present themselves as arrogant and ostentatious people. They’re full of anger and regret, but they don’t really show it. In addition, they tend to have strong ideologies.

Emotional predators feel a need to be admired, wanted, and have strong anxieties about being right and feeling powerful. They show themselves as disconnected from emotions, sometimes even despising them.

Emotional predators tend to be the kinds of children who throw stones and hit other people, the children who cause fights but aren’t involved in them. They want to be the center of attention. As teenagers, emotional predators are cold and distant and don’t have much of a social life, except for one or two friends that they tend to manipulate. In adulthood, they’re arrogant and preoccupied with being right.

At first sight, emotional predators seem sociable and perfectly acceptable, but this behavior is a mask. Behind this mask, they hide their true intentions and mental processes, which are much more complicated and confusing.

Woman suffering from emotional predators.

Who are the victims of emotional predators?

The victims of emotional predators are generally characterized by their kindness, honesty, generosity, optimism, and spiritual strength. They have qualities that emotional predators want and envy, qualities that they don’t actually have. Emotional predators will turn their victims into scapegoats and blame them for their problems.

An emotional predator doesn’t leave this type of person alone. They do this to try to steal their energy and happiness. Emotional predators want to absorb the things they envy.

Victims can seem suspicious to other people. This is because when someone suffers emotional abuse, there are people who believe that the victim is responsible. People like to imagine or think that the victim is responsible or complicit in the aggression they’ve had to deal with.

We often hear that if a person is a victim, it’s because they’re weak or unable to fight back. However, nothing is further from the truth. Emotional predators choose their victims because they have something more, something that they want to take from them.

Victims can seem naïve or gullible since they don’t want to believe that the other person is a destructive force in their life. Thus, they try to look for logical explanations. They try to rationalize to make it seem as if the other person is not an emotional predator.

In this regard, victims also try to be understanding or forgiving because they love or admire the other person. This also tends to happen because they feel they have to help the other person.

While an emotional predator refuses to change their own emotional state, their victims try to change for them. They try to understand their attacker and don’t allow themselves to question if their attacker is responsible or not.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.


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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.