5 Sex Questions You Were Afraid to Ask

How long should sex last? Can a penis break? These are some of the questions you've probably wondered about before, but you've never dared to ask.
5 Sex Questions You Were Afraid to Ask
Bernardo Peña

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Bernardo Peña.

Last update: 27 May, 2022

We’re usually happy to ask questions about most subjects. However, whenever it’s related to sex there’s always shame or taboos. Because of this, asking certain sex questions can be really difficult. For that reason, in this article we’ll answer 5 sex questions you were afraid to ask.

Sex questions you were afraid to ask

Question 1: Why is it so hard for a woman to have an orgasm with just penetration?

Surely you’ve asked yourself this question, and it’s normal. In fact, it happens to the majority of women. Effectively, more than 65% of women need direct stimulation of the clitoris to have an orgasm. 

Additionally, women’s brains play a fundamental part of their orgasms. Effectively, just on the clitoris there are more than 8,000 nerve endings, and stimulating them bombards the brain with sensations that can cause an orgasm.

For this reason, it’s not only important to stimulate the clitoris, but also to be in a relaxed and stress-free mental state to be able to achieve orgasm.

Question 2: Does the vagina widen if a woman has a lot of sex?

Sex questions about the vagina.
Sexual relations strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, promoting contraction and dilation of the vaginal wall.

One of the most common sex myths is that a woman’s vagina widens if she has a lot of sex. Because of that, it’s one of the most common sex questions. However, this myth is just a way to censure and shame women who live out their sexual freedom.

The answer is no. The vagina is perfectly capable of adapting itself to the size of the penis. That means it can widen or contract, since the walls of the vagina are very elastic and able to adapt to different sizes. Just think, for example, about how much it can dilate while giving birth.

Because of this, it’s not true that the vagina widens if a woman has a lot of sex. Age also doesn’t play a part in it. In fact, sex improves the elasticity of the vaginal walls. Additionally, orgasms strengthen and exercise the pelvic floor muscles.

Question 3: Is coitus interruptus (pulling out) an effective contraceptive method?

Coitus interruptus, more commonly known as “pulling out” is a contraceptive method achieved by the man pulling his penis from the vagina and ejaculating outside of it.

One of the most common sex questions is if this method of contraception is effective. Well, it only has an effective rate of 72% for preventing unwanted pregnancy. This is due to the fact that, many times, the man doesn’t pull out in time, in addition to the presence of sperm in the pre-ejaculation fluid.

However, the most important thing to keep in mind is that coitus interruptus doesn’t provide any kind of protection from sexually transmitted diseasesEffectively, it involves direct contact, and therefore full exposure to any sexually transmitted diseases.

We recommend you read: Contraceptive Methods: Know the Myths and Truths About Them

Question 4: How long should sex last?

Couple having sex.
The duration of sex depends on each couple and the situation.

A satisfactory sex session lasts from 7 to 13 minutes. That’s what studies on the subject seem to indicate. This means that the idea of sex that lasts for hours is just a social idealization that, additionally, creates expectations that can lead to dissatisfaction, stress, and anxiety.

In fact, according to one study, sex is desirable if it lasts 7 to 13 minutes, very short if it lasts less than 2 minutes and “too long” if it goes from 10 to 30 minutes. In any case, the sex act should last however long the couple wants it to. Both should feel satisfied and enjoy the sex, however long it lasts.

Question 5: Can the penis break?

Do penis fractures really exist? Technically no, because the penis is an organ without any bones. However, what can happen (and is often called a “penis fracture”) is the rupture of the tunica albuginea, which wraps around the corpora cavernosa.

Effectively, this type of trauma can happen to an erect penis. So, a trauma on an erect penis can cause the envelope of its corpora cavernosa to break if it suddenly bends while erect, for example.

This is a very painful fracture, and can even include a sound similar to a bone break or a hematoma in the area.

We should mention that a penis fracture should be treated quickly by a doctor which, in fact, could even require surgery. On the contrary, if it’s not treated, it can cause the penis to become deformed or cause some kind of sexual dysfunction (the inability to get an erection).

Now that we’ve answered these questions, you surely have many more, right? It might be time to free ourselves of taboos and learn more about this important aspect of our lives.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • S. Andrea Miller and E. Sandra Byers, “Actual and Desired Duration of Foreplay and Intercourse: Discordance and Misperceptions within Heterosexual Couples”, The Journal of Sex Research, Vol. 41, No. 3 (Aug., 2004), pp. 301-309.
  • Gregory S Jack et al. “Current Treatment Options for Penile Fractures”, Rev Urol. 2004 Summer; 6(3): 114–120.
  • Ferrero G, La Pietra O., “[Coitus interruptus: unreliable method of birth control. A statistical study]” (en italiano), Sessuologia. 1968 Oct-Dec;9(4):163-8.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.