5 Traits of Assertive People

· November 14, 2016
Not all assertive people are born this way. In most cases, assertiveness is a skill we can learn in order to overcome all the obstacles in our life.

Assertive people know just how to express their opinions and defend their point of view. The most important thing is that they always respect other people’s rights when they do these things.

And guess what? Assertive people also know how to express their feelings and emotions, which is something that’s hard for many people.

In today’s article, we’re going to talk about the 5 most important traits that assertive people have.

1. Assertive people are confident

A woman looking at fireflies.

As we grow older, we tend to lose our self-confidence. Although we can always get it back, this requires a lot of effort.

If you’re an assertive person, then you’ve already overcome this challenge. This is because you already know yourself well and recognize that you don’t need to be afraid of showing who you really are.

Discover: Self-Confidence: Start Betting on Yourself

In contrast, insecure people always use armor to protect themselves. This makes them always be on the defensive and makes them miss out on several opportunities that life offers them.

Assertive people know that they should have confidence in themselves to get the most out of life.

2. They respect other people’s opinions

Assertive people know how to respect other people’s opinions when they express their own, even if they don’t agree with them. They know that different points of view help people grow and that this is something that should always be respected.

This trait allows assertive people to validate other people’s emotions. In other words, it allows assertive people to learn how to accept other people’s emotions and to learn about the different circumstances that could lead an individual to act in a certain way.

The truth is that everyone has their bad days. Therefore, accepting and understanding this can notably improve interpersonal relationships.

3. Assertive people listen actively

A child listening to a shell.

When we mention the verb “listen” you may think we’re talking about something simple that everyone knows how to do. However, the truth is that few people know how to really listen, or listen actively.

How do you listen actively? Well, you have to do more than just pay attention to the words coming out of the other person’s mouth. In fact, you also have to listen to how the person feels and what they’re expressing emotionally.

If you do this, you can tackle any type of conflict that may arise between you and another person in a much calmer way.

Listening will free you from the anxiety and stress that you may experience during a confrontation. Moreover, this trait will also allow you to control your emotions more effectively.

4. They choose their friends

This may seem like a trivial point, but many of us don’t pick who we’re friends with. Instead, we let other people choose us as friends. Assertive people know that this isn’t the correct way to make friends. This is why they choose the people who they want by their side.

Discover: Learn to Be Assertive and Say “Enough!”

Furthermore, this is also why assertive people are great at dealing with all the toxic people that try to fill their lives with negative emotions. They know how to counter toxic people’s negativity and how to escape from them.

In short, assertive people choose their friends and don’t just settle for those who choose them as friends.

5. They accept themselves unconditionally

A twig and light.

One of the greatest traits that assertive people have is that they don’t care what anyone thinks of them. This allows them to accept themselves as they are, with all their flaws and virtues. This helps them improve their self-confidence.

Furthermore, accepting ourselves unconditionally also allows us to know our limitations, but this doesn’t mean we limit ourselves.

Assertive people also know how to fight against obstacles with all their might to get the best possible outcome in order to achieve their dreams.

Do you have any of these traits? As you may have noticed, many of them tackle those unfounded fears we have that keep us from coming out of our shell and believing in ourselves.

Our comfort zone, our insecurities, and other related things can limit us. However, they don’t limit assertive people.

Do you think these types of people were born with this confidence? Do you think that they’ve always believed in themselves? No. In fact, they were once in your position.

However, they became assertive by putting in a lot of effort and having a willing attitude that allowed them to become better people.