4 Behaviors that Could Predict a Divorce
Although divorce can depend on many factors, there are some that, when repeated over time, could be a warning. Learn more about them and how to resolve them in this article.
When you’re not in a relationship, it can be very easy to see the problems in the couples around you.
This is not usually the case when it comes to yourself. Love can cause you to be blind to what’s in front of your face, or to compensate for the negative things with the positive.
Over time, however, those little problems in your relationship might eventually become insurmountable issues.
That’s why it’s a good idea to try to reflect on these things with a clear head.
Sometimes, lack of reflection is not the problem. Rather, it may be that you have some dynamics as a couple that you think are healthy, but really they’re not.
One example of a type of behavior that could predict divorce is jealousy. Many people believe that they are inseparable from the one they love.
To protect that, they see everyone around their partner as a threat.
Jealous feelings can lead to a breakup because they start with a feeling of ownership and lack of trust in either partner.
This is just an example of the attitudes that have been internalized as normal and that, in the long run, can become real obstacles. There are many, many more.
Do you want to know what they are?
1. Starting an argument and blaming the other personIf you’re reading a crime novel, you know that the guilty person will be discovered at the end of the story.
Once the murder has been discovered, a detective follows the leads to get to the solution.
- In a couple, the problem is the same, but the difference is that no single person is responsible.
- This means that when you want to solve something, you have to approach it calmly and have a common goal: to end whatever is stopping you from moving forward.
- If you wind up constantly accusing each other it will make dialogue impossible and sooner or later, your relationship will crumble.
Do you want to know more? See: 6 habits of satisfied couples
2. You think that criticism is an attackPeople who have damaged self-esteem, either too much or too little, typically have this reaction.
“They attacked me, so I defended myself,” they say without listening.
Fear is a defense mechanism and you tune out any criticism. You nod, shout, even cry, but you don’t actually listen.
You are closed off and your brain puts up a wall between you and your partner.
This is a behavior type can often predict divorce. A healthy relationship should be able to take criticism.
The consequences can be disastrous: you start a game of shouting insults and get so fed up that you have to leave the room.
The most difficult thing is to stay.
3. Avoiding conflictHere again, we have to talk about fear. In this case, the fear is losing the person you love.
No one is perfect and in spite of how much love you feel, the other person will do things that you don’t like. Some of them might be insignificant but others will bother you deeply, or hurt you.
You don’t dare tell them, however. “What if they take it the wrong way? What if they don’t understand? What if they leave me?”
You might not wind up saying it out loud, but you’ll keep thinking about it.
This will manifest itself one way or another: an angry comment, being mentally absent when the two of you are together, an overly harsh reaction that the other person won’t understand…
All this can handicap your relationship and keep you from good communication, something that eventually exhausts you both.
Visit this article: 5 keys to respect in a relationship
4. You want to share everything
You each had lives before you met and you have different tastes. You can’t give that up. You are allowed to have different interests.
Humans have many different dimensions and they all have a place in your life together. Differences make life more interesting and leads to better conversation.
Feeding this conversation is a way of fanning the flame of love and passion. Don’t you want your partner more after you’ve had a deep conversation?
As you can see, the behaviors that could predict a divorce are two sides of the same coin.
Conversation, listening, and the preservation of your individuality are indispensable for a healthy and lasting relationship.