3 Steps to Forget an Impossible Relationship

09 September, 2020
Many times we cling to an impossible relationship because of our own needs and the desire to fill that void inside.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who simply wasn’t a good match for you? Have you ever gone to great lengths to save a previous relationship, and ultimately failed? An impossible relationship can be very painful if you don’t know how to turn over a new leaf and move on with your life.

Not every relationship is built on reciprocity. Nor do two people in a relationship always share the same feelings for one another. The point is, being rejected hurts, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. When this happens, we often go through a kind of grieving process, in which it’s all too easy to get stuck.

It’s important to ask yourself if you really want to live like this. Refusing to let go of a relationship that has no future, despite knowing the damage it has caused (and continues to cause) and the great pain you still feel as a result.

Sometimes, we become obsessed with something that simply can’t be. You’re not even really in love with the person anymore. But the feelings are so toxic that you just can’t let go of the memories of what was, coming back to them again and again.

So, today, we want to give you some tips to help you forget an impossible relationship. Remember, it’s in your power to be happy again.

Steps to forget an impossible relationship

A stressed out woman sitting on a couch.

1. Look inside yourself

Sometimes, we avoid looking inside ourselves so that we don’t have to face the problems and circumstances that have led us to this kind of obsession with an impossible relationship.

Doing some soul-searching can help you discover if you’re perhaps emotionally dependentThis kind of dependency can get in the way of letting go of a person you aren’t destined to be with.

You may also discover some emotional wound that hasn’t healed properly. Maybe it comes from some negative experience or situation in the past. This could be anything from an abandonment to a romantic rejection.

Read on: Three Fatal Errors at the End of a Relationship

Sometimes, it’s also possible that we fall in love with people who we can never be in a relationship with because we’re not prepared to start a relationship. Look inside yourself to discover what’s really going on.

2. Do you feel happy with yourself?

If you take a analyze yourself closely, you’ll be able to answer this very important question. This is because although many times we believe that we feel alright, we’re actually broken inside.

Impossible relationships are often very harmful. They create false expectations that don’t correspond to reality, and make the person involved (in this case, you) live in the hopes of a future with that other person. Just remember: the love of your life won’t make you feel bad.

Although the reasons you ended your impossible relationship might not be toxic, your attitude towards it could be. 

Stop and reflect for a moment, and think about your happiness: you deserve to feel at peace, rather than permanently nostalgic.

3. The best way to get over an old relationship isn’t to find a new one

You’ve probably heard friends and family say things like, “the best way to get over an old relationship is to find a new one.” However, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, instantly throwing yourself into a new relationship often has a deeper meaning. We usually do it out of loneliness. Afraid of being alone, we desperately start to look for someone new.

Discover: How to Move On Independently After a Breakup

You’ll only be ready to fall in love again when you feel good with yourself. If you’re still obsessing over another person, and you try to use a new partner to forget about them, you’re only going to make the situation worse.

Trying to forget someone by finding someone else will only damage your new relationship, hurting your new partner and, of course, yourself.

It’s true that it’s often easier to forget a past crush when you’re with someone new. But don’t you feel like you haven’t waited to find someone you truly love? Don’t you feel like, on some level, you might be fooling yourself?

A woman watching the rain.

An impossible relationship can paralyze you

An impossible relationship prevents you from starting a genuine relationship with someone who can give you the love and affection you deserve. Sometimes, you may find yourself waiting around for the wrong person for years, imagining some utopia in which they come running back to you, even if it’s never going to happen.

Falling in love with someone like this will make you miss out on so many opportunities. These opportunities will pass you by but you won’t be able to see them because you’re blinded.

It’s important that you remember that an impossible relationship will hurt you. It won’t end well and you’ll always be disappointed. If you constantly dive into this kind of desire, you’ll end up drowning. Love yourself.