Your Siblings, the Best Friends You Never Chose

Sibling arguments, far from being negative, actually help you grow. Although you might have ups and downs in your relationships with your siblings, you know that they’ll always be there when you need them
Your Siblings, the Best Friends You Never Chose

Last update: 24 January, 2019

Friends are important people who are always by your side because, one way or another. Although we choose our friends, we don’t choose our siblings. Nonetheless, they can also be an important part of your life.

Brothers and sisters can become best friends with whom you share a large part of your life.

The relationship between siblings is one of the most intense that can occur in life.

In other relationships, if there’s something you don’t like or if you’re constantly arguing, you might wind up ending things. This doesn’t happen between siblings, where ups and downs are more common than not.

You can always count on your siblings

2 children in forest
Your siblings are the people who really know you. You didn’t choose to live with them, but they still shared at least a few years of your life.

Bbetween brothers and sisters  there are often plenty of arguments and problems that need to be addressed.

Nonetheless,  forgiving one another in spite of all the fighting and anger is based on the unconditional love that you share with your brothers and sisters.

This is a love that’s been forged throughout the years as you have shared laughter, tears, joy, questions, opinions…

Want to know something interesting?

Arguments among siblings, far from being negative, can help you learn to control your emotional impulses and be flexible; to put aside all those negative feelings so that you can address the situation clearly in moments of anger.

3 sisters
But what more can your relationship with your siblings do for you? Let’s look at some of the benefits that will probably surprise you:

  • Your self-esteem is increased
  • Your ability to be generous increases
  • Whether you believe it or not, you become more patient
  • You avoid emotional problems at an early age
  • You are less likely to suffer from solitude 

No doubt plenty of these benefits can occur without having brothers or sisters, but they are especially likely to be true when you have a brother or sister.

The relationship between siblings is beyond compare

Although you might have a very strong relationship with your friends or other people in your life, it’s impossible to compare that with the relationship between siblings.

Think about it: you’ve lived together since you were small, building mutual trust in one another that can’t be compared to any other type of relationship.

4 sisters
Without even trying, you stay together in spite of your worst (and best) moments. That’s something that is promised in a marriage, and while the marriage may dissolve if that promise is broken, the same is perhaps less likely to happen between siblings.

It’s true that sometimes, this relationship doesn’t exist. There are cases where one sibling is toxic to the other, or they are so incompatible that they don’t remain in each other’s lives.

When this occurs, it creates a disastrous relationship that leaves a bad experience for both people.

Sometimes selfishness or other unpleasant circumstances arise. In normal relationships, you would hopefully wind up sharing both the good and the bad with each other. When this doesn’t happen, perhaps you’re dealing with an evil sibling who only harbors negative feelings.

Nevertheless, it’s normal for your siblings to be a part of your life experience, constituting what you consider to be family.

If you eventually choose different paths in life, you know that when you meet again you’ll always have that trust you had before.

And if something happens to you, or you have a problem? You know that if you call on your sibling, they’ll be there, ready to help.

5 children and bear

Think about your relationship with your siblings like a tree. No matter how far apart the branches grow, they share the same roots, so there will always be a link between you.

Those knowing looks, the language only you understand, the secrets that you’ll never reveal to anyone else.

Siblings are an important part of your life so you should value them, protect them, and keep them close. There’s no other relationship that you will find to be so pure and healthy.

It’s a relationship based on true, unconditional love.

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  • McHale, S. M., Updegraff, K. A., & Whiteman, S. D. (2012). Sibling relationships and influences in childhood and adolescence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(5), 913-930.
  • Dunn, J. (2002). Sibling relationships. Blackwell handbook of childhood social development, 223-237.
  • Branje, S. J., Van Lieshout, C. F., Van Aken, M. A., & Haselager, G. J. (2004). Perceived support in sibling relationships and adolescent adjustment. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 45(8), 1385-1396.