Have You Heard About Erotic Spanking?

Erotic spanking is a sexual practice in which each of the people involved adopts a dominating or submissive role to obtain sexual pleasure through physical punishment.
Have You Heard About Erotic Spanking?
Isbelia Esther Farías López

Written and verified by the philosopher Isbelia Esther Farías López.

Last update: 13 July, 2022

Do you like to give or receive an erotic spanking when you have sex with your partner? Well, it’s fun and pleasurable for many couples.

While it’s a normal part of intimacy for many, there are those who see it as a sign of aggressiveness. Thus, it must be consensual to remain fun and exciting.

What’s spanking?

The English term spanking refers to “whipping” or erotic spanking. It describes the practice of hitting with the hand (or any other element) the buttocks of the partner when having sex. The levels vary in intensity.

As inferred from the results of a survey conducted with university students, it seems this is a fairly common modality. In fact, 59.1 percent of them admitted having been lightly spanked at some time.

Erotic spanking is a complex role-play for the purpose of sexual domination and submission. For instance, a partner may play the role of an outlaw while the other takes on the role of avenger.

A man giving an erotic spanking to a woman.

It’s important that both partners accept their roles in this game, as much of the pleasure depends on it. It’ll keep either of them from feeling sexual pleasure and even affect the functioning of the couple if it’s unpleasant or painful.

How do you practice erotic spanking?

Although the term is a bit strange for many, spanking is a sexual practice frequently done between couples. As we mentioned above, it involves a series of role-playing games. People fulfill many fantasies through them and a must among those who are into bondage.

Of course, it’s also quite pleasurable for couples who prefer another type of intimacy. You can enjoy it in the doggy style position or as part of foreplay, depending on your preferences.

Take the following into account before you begin to spank your lover:

  • You can assume either role, be it the dominator or the submissive
  • You can do erotic spanking with your hand or with props such as straps, whips, and other instruments made of leather, wood or plastic
  • Furthermore, you can get really arousal through erotic spanking but must adapt the intensity to your lover’s liking
  • The rule of thumb, in general, is to avoid violent spanking — although some do feel pleasure when the intensity of the spanking increases
  • You can alternate erotic spanking with oral or anal stimulation

Accessories for erotic spanking

An array of domination toys.

In addition to the hands, you can use various props to increase pleasure:

  • Special canes are implements used in the practice of erotic spanking, especially disciplinary.
  • A belt is a garment in the form of a flexible band made of leather or other resistant material. People place it around the waist to hold the pants or girdle of the dress or other similar garment.
  • A rebenque, an implement from Argentina and Uruguay, is a piece of cowhide designed to whip cattle.
  • On the knees posture requires the spanker to seat while the whipped person lies face down on their knees. It’s the most classic pose and there’s direct and permanent body contact between the two participants.

Final tips for enjoyment

Like any other sexual practice, the key to enjoying spanking to the fullest is for the couple to have good communication. Both must agree on everything so that the experience isn’t unpleasant for any of them. Talking about it beforehand allows you to establish clear and healthy limits — among other things.

Set limits, clearly express what you like, what you’d like, and what you don’t and wouldn’t like. Be respectful of what you agree upon and don’t do anything you don’t want to do. According to a study by the Universidad Autónoma de México, trust and communication are the most important part of any relationship.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Herbenick D, Patterson C, Beckmeyer J, Gonzalez Y et al. Diverse Sexual Behaviors in Undergraduate Students: Findings From a Campus Probability Survey. J Sex Med. 2021;18(6):1024–41.
  • Müller J. BDSM: Aproximación a las prácticas de dominación y sumisión sexual. 2015. Disponible en: http://hdl.handle.net/2445/112471.
  • Faccio E, Casini C, Cipolletta S. Forbidden games: the construction of sexuality and sexual pleasure by BDSM ‘players’, Culture, Health & Sexuality. 2014; 16:7: 752-764.
  • Labrecque F, Potz A, Larouche É, Joyal C. What Is So Appealing About Being Spanked, Flogged, Dominated, or Restrained? Answers from Practitioners of Sexual Masochism/Submission. J Sex Res. 2021 May;58(4):409-423.
  • Plante RF. Sexual spanking, the self, and the construction of deviance. J Homosex. 2006;50(2-3):59-79.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.