Sologamy: The Trend of Marrying Yourself

We all know what monogamy and polygamy are, but what about sologamy? Discover what it means to marry yourself in this article!
Sologamy: The Trend of Marrying Yourself
Isbelia Esther Farías López

Written and verified by the philosopher Isbelia Esther Farías López.

Last update: 26 May, 2022

Sologamy, or the trend of marrying yourself, is a topic that’s in vogue, especially for those who believe their happiness doesn’t depend on others. Traditionally, many people have believed in many myths of love. Therefore, they think they need to find their “other half“. However, this is beginning to change.

Now, a new group of individuals has emerged who’ve decided not to base their happiness on others. In other words, they conceive themselves as complete beings. This belief goes as far as marrying yourself. So far, more women are beginning to practice sologamy.

Sologamy isn’t solitude or loneliness

Those who observe these attitudes from the outside often think that those who practice sologamy are lonely people or narcissistic individuals who don’t know the happiness of sharing with someone else.

A young woman smiling with her hands in the air.

However, it’s worth noting that sologamy isn’t loneliness or narcissism. Those who practice it have made it clear that they’re in the best possible company: Themselves.

In fact, studies indicate that loneliness can be defined, according to Sullivan, as “An unpleasant experience, associated with a lack of interpersonal intimacy.”

While other research defines this state in the following manner “The absence of attachment relationships, that is, to relationships that are especially meaningful to the person, and that provide a secure base”.

However, the thing about sologamy is that the secure base is not another person, but within each of those who practice it.

The reasons for marrying yourself

Those who conceive sologamy as the best way to give themselves love do so because they’ve made a commitment to love themselves without expecting this feeling from others.

Thus, they don’t seek or beg for well-being, self-confidence, and the fullness of love from another person. Rather, they obtain those things from within.

Although it’s a fairly new trend, it’s already beginning to spread throughout many parts of the world. So, we could say that it’s becoming more and more successful.

Those who assume marriage with themselves do so because they:

  • Don’t believe that their happiness depends on others.
  • Don’t want a conventional marriage.
  • Observe the high divorce rates, but know that with themselves this won’t exist for them. The only way to self-divorce is to stop loving yourself, which will never happen.
  • Don’t believe in traditional marriages.
  • Don’t want to experience the crises that traditionally couples go through.

You may be interested in: Solitude is Enjoyable When You Seek It

Marrying yourself and legality

An important aspect to consider is that sologamy, for the time being, has a legal vacuum, since it doesn’t appear in current laws. However, this may change with time as more and more women decide to assume this commitment.

If this trend continues to grow, perhaps one day, the legal system will eventually include it.

How to celebrate marrying yourself

In this type of marriage, the protagonists usually dress in white, invite their loved ones, bring witnesses, and make toasts. The cakes are also usually attractive and enormous. The bride rents an event hall and, in fact, some women even go on a honeymoon.

A bride on her wedding day.

Engagement rings aren’t an issue. After all, when you marry yourself, you give yourself a self-commitment ring! The boom of these celebrations is going so fast that there are even companies that cater to these people.

These companies are dedicated to planning everything related to the event so that nothing goes wrong that day, as well as collecting the stories of women who decide to take this big step. The most exciting part of these ceremonies is the reading of the vows.

Most women usually state:

“I pledge to love, cherish, and respect myself more and more each day, I renounce self-sabotage and attracting failure into my life; from now on I promise to treat myself with much respect, honor, and love.”

Without a doubt, marrying yourself is a very interesting trend. These weddings can be held on the shore of a beach or in a church if you want. Nothing’s too much when it comes to showing love to yourself.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Comas d’Argemir, D. (1985). Soltería, crisis de valores y cambio de estructuras familiares. El País (Edición Digital) | Sociedad.
  • El sentimiento de soledad en adultos. (2013). Medicina U.P.B.
  • Manalang-Gloria, A. (2000). Soledad. Feminist Studies.
  • Meraz, M. G., García, A. S., Elena, R. M., & Saldaña, G. (2012). Actitudes hacia la transformación de la vida en pareja: soltería, matrimonio y unión libre. Psicología Iberoamericana.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.