Emotional Manipulation: When We Cling to Those Who Ignore Us

September 22, 2018
Sometimes we're so blind that we don't see how others are able to manipulate us and take advantage of us for their own benefit. Don't cling to that person. You deserve better.

People say that the more you are ignored, the more interested you become in the person who is ignoring you. Maybe it’s because we like a good game of cat and mouse! But, beware, you could be falling prey to the evils of emotional manipulation.

We often find ourselves clinging to people who are never even there for us.  They often don’t show any signs of life, nor do they show any interest in us. But then they appear again and you breathe a big sigh of relief and things seem to go well…for a while.

It’s time to open your eyes and realize what is happening to you!

Stop fooling yourself

Woman suffering from emotional manipulation

When we like someone, we start to fool ourselves. Suddenly, we begin to interpret the signs, and think that the other person likes us too. We believe they love us and need us, and we start to cling to them.

We think they want a relationship, but at the same time they ignore us. The other person often wants you to feel this way, and is subtly using emotional manipulation for his own gain.

Don’t be fooled. You are seeing what you want to see.  It’s time to start looking at it from another point of view. He only contacts you when he wants to and when he doesn’t, there’s no sign of life. It’s pure emotional manipulation. Here are a couple of examples:

  • He’s postponed a date he had with you in order to be with his friends instead, or he made other plans.  He doesn’t like you as much as you think (or wish) he does.
  • He’s just hung up the phone in the middle of a conversation because you’re just not his priority. He didn’t even bother to say a simple goodbye.

See also: Be careful with very dangerous relationships.

Maybe you try to justify his behavior with phrases like, “He just needs his own space,” or “He doesn’t want to feel tied down”,  or “He’s very independent”…

All these excuses do is harm your dignity.

Emotional manipulation: take off your blindfold!  Woman on sofa with an umbrella

It’s time to take off the blindfold that’s keeping you from seeing things as they really are.  But first, make sure that you haven’t become dependent on him.

If this is the case, then you simply have to be at his side. He becomes so important that you start to submit to him and accept attitudes that you would never recommend to a friend or loved one.

Therefore, it’s time to realize that he’s simply just not into you. Take off the blindfold and realize that it’s time to move on. Open your eyes to the emotional manipulation!

His words and actions confuse you

Have you ever tried speaking to him about your feelings?  Those feelings that are so strong that they eats away at you inside. Or maybe you simply want to tell him how much you care for him.

Remember, though: you’ve already done everything possible to initiate the conversation in that direction. However, he’s inconsistent. One moment, it seems like he doesn’t care. The next, he’s saying things like “I love you” or “You’re the only one .”

It just confuses you, but keeps you attached to him at the same time.  

Don’t miss: 6 Types of toxic relationships that you should avoid.

There’s only affection when he wants it

You also need affection, but you don’t receive it when you need it. Instead, it only happens when he wants it. If he becomes affectionate when you become angry, he may be trying to avoid losing you by emotional manipulation.

He causes you to feel insecure

Good people make us feel safe. When this isn’t the case, then we should go running in the opposite direction. 

You probably believe that you’re safe. When you’re with him you’re fine, happy, and content. But this is only when you try not to express your feelings or think about the confusion that you experience with the things he says to you.

If you’re not able to be yourself or say what you want to say around him, then you’re insecure. This is another big warning that it’s time to move on.

Trust us: you’ll be better off without him.