6 Mistakes That Destroy Family Relationships

15 March, 2021
We must never forget that our parents and siblings are the only ones who will be there forever, no matter what happens. This is why it's so important to strengthen these special family relationships.

One of the most important things in human life is taking care of family relationships, as family is usually the primary source of love, understanding, acceptance, and support.

Unfortunately, there are many families whose relationships fail disastrously. This can break up the family bond and leave everyone feeling uncomfortable. In order to figure out the reason, the first thing you need to do is find the root of the problem. Then you’ll be able to look for possible solutions.

Below we’ll go over 6 mistakes that can destroy family relationships before you even realize it.

1. Insults and criticism can destroy family relationships

couple arguing

Words have power, and although it might not seem like it, they can cause a lot of damage and scar people for life. Your family should be your source of support and encouragement which is why negative comments are so damaging in family relationships.

Many times in the heat of an argument, you may say something casually which can usually be overlooked because it was said as a result of the intensity of the situation. The problem is that this can leave open wounds in relationships between family members.

It’s important to avoid these types of situations because they take such a long time to heal. It’s better to stick to the old saying: “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

If you do have something to say, it’s better to talk in a calm manner in order to be constructive, rather than to attack others.

See also: Flow: A Wonderful Way to Fight Stress

2. Gossip

In all cases, gossip can be really damaging. Generally, people gossip because they’re upset about something with the person they’re talking about. This can make you feel temporarily better, but it doesn’t solve the problem. On the contrary, it makes the person that you invented things about lose trust in you.

Additionally, it could cause the other family members to get involved and choose a side to support. This only leads to further division within the family. You should discuss the problem in private with the person you have a disagreement with.

Calmly talk about the issues that are causing the tension, the reasons behind them, and possible solutions to reconciliation. If you do this well, you’ll strengthen the bond between the two of you.

3. Lack of inclusion

Including everyone is essential for the unity of the family itself. It’s important to make sure you include every family member in making decisions, even when you know they may not agree. Because this way they’ll feel included and truly part of the family.

When a family member is left out, this can lead to the person harboring feelings of inferiority and resentment in their heart. For example, if you plan a trip, outing, activity, or whatever it may be, and you invite everyone in your family, it’s up to them whether to decide to participate or not.

Helping everyone feel important is truly essential in family relationships. After all, a family without any members isn’t a family.

4. Deception and lies can destroy family relationships

unfaithful couple conversation

Deception in any relationship is destructive. Sometimes it can take years, and even generations, for a lie to come out. Remember that, in the end, the truth always comes to the light.

If you can’t be honest with your family, then who can you be honest with? Lying to family or even hiding little things takes its toll on relationships. This is because trust has been violated.

The bigger the lie, the greater the damage. Remember, your actions have consequences, both for you and those around you.

For that reason, it’s best to recognize your mistakes and work with your family to repair the damage. Being honest with your family shows them that you respect them.

We recommend you read: When You Should Forgive Infidelity and How to Do it

5. Intolerance of differences

When you’re growing up, you live by your parents’ rules. Both you and your siblings receive the same discipline and guidance. However, this does not mean that you’re exact copies of each other.

Living under the same roof doesn’t mean that you have to share the same opinions, political views, or even religious beliefs, for example.

Everyone needs to be able to accept the opinions, tastes, and preferences of other family members.

If you’re constantly finding yourself in confrontations or conflicts with others and their differences, then you’ll end up damaging relationships between you and your family. Accepting people as they are, for who they are is one of the many forms of love.

6. Not forgiving or asking to be forgiven

friends hugging

Sincere apologies are a powerful glue in family relationships. No one is perfect, and even the best of families have arguments. Words as simple as “I’m so sorry for…” can create strong family ties.

The message you send out when you apologize is that you care for the other person and don’t want there to be any hard feelings between the two of you.

It’s important you remember that family members need each other. Also, holding grudges does nothing more than cause more damage. For that reason, it’s important to learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness to strengthen family relationships.

  • Villaluenga, L. (2012). COMO RESOLVER LOS CONFLICTOS FAMILIARES. LA SUMA DE TODOS, 11-62.
  • Aquilino, W. S. (2006). Family relationships and support systems in emerging adulthood.