Chronic Victimization: People Who Constantly Complain
In certain situations in our lives, both consciously and unconsciously, we’ve all adopted the victim role. This isn’t necessarily “bad” or inappropriate. However, what happens when this prolongs over time and becomes part of your personality? What happens when you continually complain? The answer is this: you become someone who suffers from chronic victimhood.
Below, you’ll discover what chronic victimhood is, its characteristics, and other aspects to better understand it and encourage you to seek help to overcome it. Let’s get to it!
Chronic victimization and pessimism are negative
A person who sees himself as the victim will be unhappy and pessimistic. Everything will be black. As a result, they’ll believe that only bad things happen to them, and that bad luck follows them everywhere they go. They may even believe that the universe is conspiring against them so they suffer and stay unhappy. The problem is that it’s not real at all. Someone with a victim mentality has a distorted view of reality. According to Dr. Marcelo Ceberio, “It doesn’t occur to them to think that things happen to people beyond their lives and that the world doesn’t revolve around that”.
The person who complains about everything and everyone on a regular basis actually sees life in a distorted way. Their pessimistic attitude and the belief that everything negative will happen to them is what causes this view, as it causes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Everyone has been through hard times, and by now you might be wondering if you too have a victim mentality. However, chronic victimization is something that is constructed over time; it’s an attitude towards life. Thus, simply going through a dark or sorrow-filled period doesn’t make you someone with a victim mentality.
Pessimistic people and people with a victim mentality feed on negative feelings and emotions. What’s worse is that they don’t just blame others for their misfortunes, they take on attitudes of contempt, aggression, intolerance, and even violence, among others. They’re so unhappy that they seek to harm others.
The characteristics of chronic victimization
If you’re still not sure if you have this chronic condition or if someone around you is suffering from this disorder, below, we share some of the characteristics that best describe this personality type.
Note: If you believe that you may have a victim mentality, we recommend seeking the help of a psychologist. The professional will help you work on the aspects that you should improve on so that you can start to build healthier relationships both with yourself and with others.
1. A distorted view of reality
People with chronic victimization believe that everything happening to them is because of someone else. Thanks to this, they’re never responsible for their own actions and instead heap all the blame on others. The problem is that a distorted view of reality will only make them feel more miserable because they believe t”hey don’t have the power to change their situation”.
2. They feed off of complaints
Complaints and laments are the fuel for everyone with a victim mentality. With each complaint, they get the attention of others and become the center of attention, which makes them feel important.
The worst thing is that they never ask for help or attempt to remove themselves from a situation they don’t like. Their modus operandi is simply to complain.
3. Their goal is to find others to blame instead of taking responsibility
All victims are looking for a guilty party they can assign the blame to for problems they don’t want to be responsible for. Subsequently, they think that other people are motivated by their own interests, that they use them and are bad people. They don’t realize that they’re fabricating this lie, and in fact, they enjoy it. In addition, they’re martyrs in any situation.
4. A lack of self-criticism
At this point it should be clear that chronic victimization makes you incapable of having a good perspective of yourself. You’re unable to comprehend that there’s anything good about you or that you could possibly improve in any way. Bad things and negative energy are created by others—it’s out of your control. You’re just the victim of something you can’t stop.
Manipulation and emotional blackmail: other aspects to work on
These victims are experts at manipulating situations and people to achieve their interests. They know that playing the victim will turn the tide in their favor.
Because of this, it’s important to be aware that a pessimistic person will use emotional blackmail to make them seem even more like a victim in any given situation. They revel in their bad attitude, feeding off their sorrow and blaming others in order to feel important.
You have to learn how to deal with this type of person and neutralize their effect so that they don’t infect you with negative emotions. A person with a victim mentality is a toxic person who will poison you, whether you believe it or not. If you have the opportunity to remove these types of people from your life then do it!
As we mentioned above, if you believe that someone around you has this problem and you want to help them, encourage them to seek professional help.