You’re Not the Problem, It’s Your Self-Esteem

· April 28, 2017
It's time to learn to value yourself. After all, how can someone else love you if you don't love yourself?

Do you have trouble with your social relationships? Do you always wind up being surrounded by toxic people? If so, you could have a problem with your self-esteem.

Maybe it’s not the first time you’ve thought you have a problem.

You may not be good at approaching the right people, or it’s hard for you to be assertive to say “no.” You might always feel bad because you feel like you’re not worthy of whatever you’re doing.

Discover: 5 traits of assertive people

Stop thinking that you have the worst luck. Your problem lies in your self-esteem, but this is something you can improve on with these simple tips.

Why do you have low self-esteem?

Throughout your life, you’ll encounter difficulties and have experiences that will help you learn and move forward. Sometimes, however, they can have the opposite effect.

You become a colorless person, lacking motivation and a self-confidence or self-esteem.

The reason you might be going through this is because you don’t accept yourself as who you are. You want to be perfect and won’t admit your mistakes. Mistakes can be a gift. They can help you push yourself forward if you look at them from another perspective.

You might also constantly seek the approval of others. This causes your motivation and happiness to lie in the hands of other people.

On some occasions, you might also fall into comparing yourself to others in ways that only do you harm.


See: Self-confidence: start betting on yourself

Above all, though, do you lead a healthy life? This means getting exercise, take care of your diet, and staying away from people who don’t improve you or your self-esteem.

It is important to watch out for these signs, as they are all factors that can lower your self-esteem.

Sometimes you can’t choose

It’s true that lots of times having a lack of self-esteem wasn’t your choice. It may not be a product of any of the aforementioned activities, but rather that of circumstances that you can’t control at all.

Perhaps you had an unhappy childhood or unloving parents.

Have you ever suffered from abuse? Children who were bullied can have serious problems trusting themselves.

Having parents with severely high expectations or overprotective behaviors can lead your self-esteem to eventually become affected.

As you’ve seen, what happens in your early years of life can cause your self esteem to be affected in the future. Nevertheless, can this be modified?

Self-esteem progresses throughout your life

Every situation can change, and your self-esteem can change with it. Throughout your life, you’ll become stronger, wiser, and learn to manage it a little better.

Do not miss: Take the leap to live a fearless life

To do this, it’s very important that you start with some simple affirmations that you need to be able to internalize:

  • Overcome the fears that block you and create barriers.
  • Stop sabotaging yourself. Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy when it comes to your self-esteem.
  • If you carry out self-destructive actions, try to eliminate them.
  • Consider setting realistic goals.
  • Learn from your mistakes – without them, you could not move forward.
  • Trust each and every one of your abilities.

Although it seems simple, we know these things are very difficult and can take a long time to see big changes. In some situations, you might need to see a psychologist who can guide you and open your eyes to who you are and what you can achieve.

It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it

Overcoming adversity isn’t easy. Your self-esteem is affected by lots of little things throughout your life, but you can always improve with a positive attitude.

Let your low self-esteem become an opportunity to get to know yourself better, accept what you feel, and draw strength from places you didn’t think you had it.

You might remember that in order to climb up you have to start somewhere, and the same thing happens to your self-esteem. It will test your strength so you can become the best version of yourself.

Do not leave without first discovering: Make the brave choice to say “yes” or “no”

The real solution, however, lies in loving and caring for yourself. Take time to express gratitude to yourself each day.

Open your eyes and start caring for your self-esteem. When you do, you’ll find that you’ll be much happier.