Your Partner is Your Mirror, What Are They Reflecting?

Teach yourself to become stronger, to change direction, to take control of your own life. Look straight into the eyes of your shortcomings so that they cease to be and instead strengthen you.
Your Partner is Your Mirror, What Are They Reflecting?

Last update: 27 May, 2022

There are many people in whom we can see a reflection of ourselves, such as family or friends. However, the most significant relationship is with your partner. If your eyes are open then you will realize that your partner is your mirror.

Despite not being very aware of the implications, the truth is that if you keep an open mind with your partner, you’ll allow yourself to be more true to yourself. Plus, you’ll notice many things that you may not always be aware of.

However, if your partner is a mirror, how can you see yourself reflected in them? Today, we’ll discuss how to observe yourself through your relationship with your partner.

It’s not them, it’s you

Your partner is your mirror: girl with a broken mask

Does it bother you that your partner leaves the bed unmade? Do you want to stop being such a perfectionist? Does it make you nervous that they’re so independent? All these questions contain an anger, a certain resentment, and an unbearable nervousness about the behavior of your partner. But remember: they’re your mirror.

What does it matter if your partner always leaves the bed unmade? Maybe, instead of complaining, you should ask yourself, “why am I so inflexible”?

If your partner has an obsession with tidiness to the point of being a perfectionist, you should look and see in which aspects you don’t give 100%. Why don’t you give your best? Why do you settle for “good enough”?

If it makes you nervous that your partner is independent, stays out with his friends and you feel a little left out, ask yourself, is my partner everything for me? Do I have time for my friends or for myself?

Read more: How to Think Independently and Boost Self Esteem

Everyone is different

These are just some examples of how your partner is your mirror. However, every person is different and the interpretation of what bothers you about the other may be completely different. The important thing is to realize it.

Do you hate the way they talk so loud? Does it make you embarrassed that they’re such a joker? If so, the things that bother you are also a part of you, and that’s why they bother you.

Think for a moment about the first question. If your partner made the bed, you wouldn’t notice; it would not mean anything to you. However, the moment s/he doesn’t, it reflects a lack of flexibility in some aspect of your life that you have to resolve.

Your partner is your mirror and will help you to get to know yourself better

Your partner will help you to get to know yourself.

The fact that your partner is your mirror is not a bad thing; it’s quite the opposite. It’s an aid in knowing yourselves better and opening your eyes to a reality that we tend to deny.

A painful yet clear example is when people are mistreated. What is the mistreated person reflecting? That they don’t respect themselves: they mistreat themselves. As hard as it is to admit, it’s true. They’re mistreating themselves by giving power to someone who doesn’t love them. This includes a consequent drop in self-esteem.

The mirror, like any mirror, should be an opportunity to see each other clearly and make a decision. Some mirrors are very revealing, such as in this painful scenario that many people experience every day.

See also: How to Make Better Decisions

If your partner is a mirror, take advantage of it! Look into the mirror without wearing masks, without denial and without wanting to be someone you’re not.

Accept your mistakes and accept your shortcomings. This will allow you to get to know yourself better, make the relevant decisions and even change for the better.

A girl facing a mirror on a road.

Change the way you deal with people or circumstances that make you believe you’re the victim, when in reality they’re helping you.

Teach yourself to become stronger, to change direction, to take control of your own life. Look straight into the eyes of your shortcomings so that they cease to be and instead strengthen you.
If your partner is your mirror, what are they reflecting?
Images: Laura Williams, Flora Borsi, David Talley.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.


  • Perles, F., San Martín, J., Canto, J., & Moreno, P. (2011). Inteligencia emocional, celos, tendencia al abuso y estrategias de resolución de conflicto en la pareja. Escritos de Psicología / Psychological Writings. https://doi.org/10.5231/psy.writ.2011.0605
  • Póo, A. M., & Beatriz Vizcarra, M. (2011). Diseño, implementación y evaluación de un programa de prevención de la violencia en el noviazgo. Terapia Psicologica. https://doi.org/10.4067/S0718-48082011000200008
  • Rivera, D., Cruz, C., & Muñoz, C. (2011). Satisfacción en las relaciones de pareja en la adultez emergente: El rol del apego, la intimidad y la depresión. Terapia Psicologica. https://doi.org/10.4067/S0718-48082011000100008
  • Sangrador, J. L. (1993). Consideraciones psicosociales sobre el amor romántico. Psicothema.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.