People Who Judge You Should Walk in Your Shoes
Don’t let the opinions of other people change the way you live your life. While constructive criticism can help you grow, you have to learn to ignore those who are only trying to hurt you
How many times have you had to deal with people who judge you? Sometimes you might not be ready to depart from the path you’ve chosen for your day to day life. However, you still have to “put up with” the opinions of third parties about what you do or don’t do.
It would be dishonest to say that it never affects you.
And yet turning a deaf ear to the comments of those who judge your actions as if they had the gift of divine providence is not always easy. Especially when it’s coming out of the mouth of a significant person in your life: your family, a friend…
Of course, no one who is a true friend would dare to judge you without being aware of your emotions, and the experiences that you carry on your back and in your heart.
Give them your shoes to walk in for a day, because no one but you can know the painful path you’ve already followed. No-one but you knows the rivers you’ve crossed without asking anyone else for help. In today’s article we invite you to think a little more about this subject.
The path we have chosen and the trails we’ve built are what define us
You’re not just that person you see reflected in the mirror. Nor are you defined by what you wear, what you say, or what you do for other people.
You are a work in progress and, consequently, all of your life experiences form the basis of who you are. Those things that no one other than you can know.
So, why do some people still dare to judge others without knowing about them?
See also Advice to Improve Your Self Esteem
- People who are used to judging others tend to be the most frustrated.
- Some people are often very unhappy with themselves, so in turn they project their need for control and intervention onto other people’s lives.
- Judgment from someone within the family is a common thing. “The things that happen to you happen because you’re too confident,”. “You started out wrong from the beginning, thinking you can do everything and you can’t.”
- They judge with the intention of being helpful or teaching you a lesson, but deep down they want to control you and “trap” you with their way of thinking, and their rules.
- Sometimes the person who judges your path in life is trying to justify their own by discrediting that of others. It’s not an uncommon phenomenon.
Want to read more? Good people have wounded hearts
People who judge you
- In fact, when someone judges you they don’t have good arguments that serve a purpose. It’s almost always an excuse for an attack, an insult, or simple contempt. The rationalization is very weak.
- A lack of self-criticism. They’re not able to evaluate their own actions and words to see who made mistakes, and who did more harm. They’re limited to protecting themselves from criticism from others.
- Usually, people who are used to judging you lack a full life with hobbies and passions that would help them view things in a more relative sense.
How to defend yourself against other people’s criticisms
Sometimes we say to ourselves, “That doesn’t apply to me.” And it may be true, as long as the judgment is coming from someone like a coworker, a person with whom you don’t have a strong bond. You can brush it off and forget it.
But, what if the people who judge you are friends or family members, or even your partner?
In these cases it’s more common to feel offended or even wounded. The first thing you need to do is stay calm and focus on some simple affirmations, like the following:
“I know who I am, I know what I’ve overcome, and I’m proud of every step I’ve taken and learned from my mistakes.” Or, alternatively, “No one but me has the right to judge me, because only I know what I feel and how happy I am with my life and the things that I have.”
Points to follow
- Once you’ve told yourself these affirmations and protected your self-esteem, try to avoid responding with hurtful comments. If you show anger or contempt, feelings can take longer to dissipate and you only end up causing more damage.
- Make your disappointment clear. Explain that no one has the right to judge you, and that this simply shows that they don’t know you.
- Whoever dares to criticize your life and all you’ve experienced along the way is a person who isn’t a good traveling companion. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your mother, your sibling, or your partner.
- Whoever doesn’t accept that sometimes you’ve made mistakes which they judge you for, is someone who has too high an opinion of themselves. There are those who believe that they never make bad decisions or mistakes. However, these are people who lack the ability to criticize themselves and empathize with others.
In these situations you need to ask yourself whether it’s worth distancing yourself from the people who judge you and don’t recognize how worthwhile you are. These are people who can’t see the light that shines within you, nor do they understand your value.