What To Do When Your Partner Doesn't Know What He or She Wants
Beginning a relationship with your partners means starting something together. Therefore, both of you need to know what you want and where you’re headed. However, what happens when your partner doesn’t know what he or she wants? How should you act? Is it time to end to the relationship or set an ultimatum?
We’ll take a deeper look at this situation in the following article.
A common project
In the beginning stages of a romantic relationship, we assume that it’s the commencement of a shared life project. In other words, the relationship is heading towards a common goal and shared plants. It’s a projection towards a future that’s full of shared dreams, responsibilities, and efforts.
However, when one partner doesn’t know what he or she wants, then this common project simply doesn’t exist. When that’s the case, it’s practically pointless for one person to take the reigns in the relationship.
So, setting your sights on going forward with things will only produce frustration. Also, it can lead to accusations from both parties in the future.
So, what happens when one partner doesn’t know what he or she wants in a relationship? If that’s the case with your or your partner, then you’re likely experimenting the following:
- Doubt. Everything feels confusing. Perhaps, one day, your partner makes you feel like he or she wants a commitment, but the next day everything changes. In some ways, your relationship may seem serious, but in other ways, it feels like you’re just trying things out. As a result, the ups and downs put you in a constant state of doubt and insecurity.
- Frustration. The indecision when someone doesn’t know what he or she wants can cause frustration, stress, and suffering. Imagine putting your trust in someone that doesn’t know what to do and, as a result, doesn’t return your feelings. Giving more than you get in relationships is truly painful.
- Fear of communication. You may avoid talking about your future together–whether it be short, mid, or long term. That’s because you’re not sure what your partner wants, so you both shy away from this kind of conversation.
You may also want to read: What are the Signs of Dissatisfaction in a Relationship?
What to do when your partner doesn’t know what he or she wants
There’s no sense in keeping your feelings of doubt, frustration, and suffering to yourself. Therefore, the best option is to have an honest conversation with your partner. Express your emotions, ideas, and dreams regarding your relationship.
However, you need to be aware that your partner may not share your plans and desires or even your feelings. Plus, you can’t force him or her to, either. Therefore, you need to be prepared to hear something different.
A relationship is a commitment that involves responsibilities, understanding, and respect.If those factors don’t exist, then the relationship isn’t going to be healthy.
Take care of yourself
As we explained above, it’s not easy to stay in a relationship when one partner doesn’t know what he or she wants. Indeed, giving more than you get can be frustrating and heartbreaking. Therefore, you need to take care of yourself and ask yourself if this is really worth it.
If two people don’t share the same vision of a shared future, then the relationship is headed forward failure. So, the best thing you can do is think about yourself and understand that you’re headed in different directions and want different things.
You should also read: Setting Limits for Healthy Relationships
No matter what, don’t forget what you want
Don’t get carried away by feelings for someone who doesn’t know what he or she wants. Rather, ask yourself what you want for your future.
What plans do you have in mind? How do you want to feel with the person that you’re going to share your life with?
If you’re with someone that’s indecisive and leaves your feeling confused, it’s time to move on. If your partner can’t commit, then he or she’s not the right person to commit to. The logic is simple.
Boost your self-esteem, maintain your dignity, and say goodbye to the person that’s not right for you. You’ll be opening to door to something that’s much healthier and will make you much happier.