What to Do When You Have Trust Issues

Do you have trust issues with your partner? It doesn't matter if the causes are caused by you or by the other person: we'll give you some tips to regain lost confidence.
What to Do When You Have Trust Issues

Last update: 07 May, 2021

Mutual security is the fundamental basis of a solid romantic relationship, but in some cases, this trust isn’t always there. In this article, we’ll discuss trust issues in some depth.

It’s not easy for any of the members of a couple to have a relationship in which there are trust issues, neither for the person who’s insecure nor for the one who brings out such feelings of insecurity.

Distrust is a huge problem that affects a large number of couples and it can lead to an unfortunate break up. However, it’s often possible to solve this issue and here we’ll give you some tips to try to do so.

Causes of trust issues in couples

A couple with trust issues.
Trust issues becoming a routine can destroy a relationship.

Most people spend most of their time sharing things with that special person we love, but why is there distrust in a relationship? The causes are many and depend on various factors.

From unfulfilled promises, the influence of a previous experience where you were betrayed to unjustified insecurity or the fact your current partner turned out to be an unsteady pillar at some point in the relationship.

Here are the main ones:

1. Infidelity

When one of the members of a couple has a romance with a third person, even if the situation seems to be resolved, there are sometimes remnants of unhealed wounds that can bring out trust issues.

Once an act of disloyalty has been committed, there’s the possibility that distrust will remain in the relationship. Therefore, it’s important to talk about what happened and how each of you feels about it, as well as whether you agree to continue the relationship and what you’re going to do about it.

2. Personal insecurity

An insecure person unconsciously believes that they’re not worthy of love. This feeling of being “less than” could manifest in the form of jealousy and an overall lack of trust in their relationship.

However, there are times when insecure behaviors and reactions can create toxic dynamics in the relationship, even unintentionally. Being all the time on the defensive and in a bad mood, questioning and controlling the other person doesn’t usually do much good.

3. Monotony

Love goes through different phases. The initial falling in love stage and the intensity of the passion goes away as time goes by; thus, the relationship may fall into a routine and decrease interest in one the other person.

In these cases, what happens is that the other person may perceive a lack of interest in the other partner, who may believe there’s no more love and so trust issues arise.

4. Sexual problems

Sex is fundamental in a relationship, so if problems arise in that area, the other person may interpret it as a lack of love.

For example, erectile dysfunction is often the result of stress and other factors, but women are sometimes convinced that a third person is in the picture or that the attractiveness has been lost and that’s why the other isn’t so interested.

5. Lack of commitment

The fact that one of the members of the couple is an immature person and shows little commitment in strengthening the relationship are all frequent causes of insecurity.

A couple having an argument.
Immature attitudes such as lack of commitment or not taking the relationship seriously are frequent causes of trust issues.

The consequences of trust issues

Lack of trust in a couple can lead to major problems such as the ending of a relationship if you don’t take corrective actions in time. Among the consequences that this situation may bring are:

  • Lack of respect
  • Hostile environment
  • Emotional tiredness of the person who distrusts
  • Emotional distancing
  • Communication problems
  • Conflicting interactions
  • Breakup

How to deal with trust issues

Trust within a couple is a process that must be constantly reinforced if you want to have a stable and lasting relationship. The first thing to do is to increase healthy communication, where expressing feelings and reasons for mistrust are key issues.

It may be that the person who mistrusts another also requires involvement in activities that’ll help them regain their self-confidence and improve their self-esteem. In this case, they must reflect on their own and build self-knowledge.

If there are wounds from the past that are still open, it’s important to work on forgiveness. Visiting a counselor or a therapist for this is also a helpful measure.

The first lesson you must learn is that trust issues in a couple hinder the development of the relationship. Furthermore, commitment, security, and sincerity are fundamental to strengthen your bond and overcome the situation.

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