What Do I Do If My Partner Cheats on Me?

Have you just discovered that your partner is unfaithful and you don't know what to do? Here are some tips to deal with this difficult situation.
What Do I Do If My Partner Cheats on Me?

Last update: 16 May, 2021

“If my partner cheats on me, I’ll leave him/her.” Often, this phrase is much easier to utter than to carry out. In fact, it’s not a simple situation (especially for the person who is cheated on) and it’s normal for many doubts and insecurities to surge. Perhaps the greatest fear is not knowing how to take the right decision.

When an infidelity is discovered, emotions are running high and these, whether you want to or not, can cloud your judgment. As a result, the person feels lost and finds it difficult to see the matter from a more objective point of view. Maintaining a cool head is very difficult.

Therefore, we’re going to offer you some tips that you can put in practice in this type of situation.

Take your time before reacting

Woman thinking how to react.
It’s not advisable to make decisions when you discover that a person has been unfaithful. It’s necessary to take some time to reflect.

News of this caliber usually cause a shock. Your reaction is likely to be unpredictable and your partner may start apologizing and begging you for a second chance. Don’t rush.

You can tell your partner that this situation has been so unexpected that you can’t think clearly right now or make a decision. You need time.

However, it’s advisable to express what you feel and discuss the situation with a person you trust. This person won’t tell you what to do but will help you get it off your chest.

You may also be interested in: The 7 Types of Infidelity that You Should Know About

A second chance if your partner cheats on you?

“If my partner cheats on me, should I give them a second chance or not?” This is one of the most common and most difficult questions to answer. In accordance with what was said above, the important thing is not to rush and try to be serene and think calmly.

In some cases, second chances are loaded with double agenda: to do the same thing or to constantly blame the other for their mistake. If you want to give your partner another chance, it’s highly recommended to go to therapy.

Even if you think you can forgive and not hold a grudge, sometimes it’s not that easy and you may even fall into self-deception. That’s why going to therapy can help you regain trust in the relationship and move forward with a stronger, renewed connection. Without these factors, it’s very likely that this second chance will fail.

Think about your values

Every so often you should go over your values. Perhaps your mentality regarding infidelity has changed and you should consider whether, perhaps for you, it’s not so important.

However, if it’s still unacceptable for you on a personal level, staying in the relationship will go against your principles. In this case, it may be better to break up for good.

Making this decision will hurt, it’s true. However, not following your convictions and accepting something that goes against your values will cause you a lot of pain and a relationship full of insecurities.

Woman watching out the window.
Reviewing the scale of values can help in dealing with infidelity.

Don’t use the kids as an excuse

One reason a lot of couples use to justify staying together is the kids. They say things like: “If it weren’t for the kids I’d leave him/her” or “My kids need a united family.”

This is just a way of disguising your fear. Take into account that your children would always prefer to have happy parents, even if separated, than together and constantly arguing. Don’t use children as an excuse for not seeing what’s going on.

Love yourself more than anyone else

If you’re still thinking about “if my partner is unfaithful…” give yourself some time to reflect on what happened, regain perspective and avoid impulsive decisions. Also, don’t forget to review your values in order to decide what’s best for you.

On the other hand, if you’ve gone to therapy, it’s important that you don’t abandon the sessions at the first change. Even if there are unpleasant moments and upset you a little, they’re also necessary in order for you to solve all your concerns and move forward.

If you still find it impossible to solve the situation, remember that you should always think about your happiness. Don’t stay in a relationship that’s hurting you just out of habit or insecurity.

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What do you think of when you hear emotionally unfaithful? Did you know that this type of infidelity has nothing to do with intimate contact?