What Do I Do If My Partner Cheats on Me?

July 21, 2018

Even if you think you are clear on what you should do if your partner cheats on you, doubts will abound if and when the moment does come.

Maybe you think you have it perfectly clear what you’d do if your partner cheats on you: you’d leave them! However, when the moment of truth comes, the situation may bring up all kinds of doubts and insecurities, and you may not know what to do. It’s completely normal.

When an unexpected situation surprises you, your emotions will cloud your judgement. Suddenly you feel lost and you can no longer see the situation with perspective. However, there are certain pieces of advice you should keep in the front of your mind when it comes to infidelity.

Take your time before responding

Like we said, your emotions are going to cloud your vision. You won’t know how to react, and your partner might apologize and beg for another chance. But don’t rush it. Take your time.

You could tell your partner that the situation is so unexpected that you can’t think clearly right now, let alone make any decisions. Still, it could be good to express your feelings to someone you trust. They won’t tell you what to do; you just need someone to listen and support you in this difficult time.


Upset woman after her partner cheats on her.

This way you will be able to see what happened with more perspective, clear your mind, and let your emotions calm down. Only then will you be able to tell what you really want to do: end it or give them another chance. That bring us to our next point…

If my partner cheats on me, should I give them another chance?

Well, if your partner cheats on you, at least don’t give them a second chance right away, in a rush and without thinking. Think it over well because most of the time people give second chances so that they can give their partner a taste of their own medicine or to throw their mistake in their face all the time.

Something you should be aware of if you do decide to give them a second chance is that therapy will be a must. Even if you think you can forgive and not hold a grudge, you might be lying to yourself.

That’s why going to therapy can help you trust your relationship again, to look at the broken pieces and move forward stronger. Without these things, the second chance may be a failure.

Think about your values

Every so often you should go over your values. What do you think of infidelity? Do you still think the same as you did years ago or did something change? It might be a good idea to review this and act accordingly.

If infidelity is still unacceptable to you, forgiving it will end in a relationship full of hurt, arguments, and never-ending distrust. Here, it may be better to break it off once and for all and not look back.

A cold couple.

Making this decision will hurt, true. However, not living according to your convictions and accepting something contrary to your values will hurt more.

Don’t stay together just because of the kids

One reason a lot of couples use to justify staying together is the kids, even if it goes against their values. They say things like, “If it weren’t for the kids I’d leave her” or “My kids need a whole family.”

However, this is just a way of avoiding the decision to break up. Because children would always rather have happy parents, even if they’re separated, than together and constantly arguing. The problems that children of unhappy parents may have when they turn into adults can be very serious.

So if your partner cheats on you, the first thing to do is to take your time, step back, and then look at the situation. After that you’ll review your values and finally make a well-informed decision.

All relationships should be built on a solid foundation. What do you think about infidelity? Would you be able to forgive if your partner cheats on you?

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