What Do Couples Who Have Survived Sexual Infidelity Have In Common?

Couples who overcome infidelity problems manage to create a stronger and safer bond, as long as the betrayed person is able to forgive and forget
What Do Couples Who Have Survived Sexual Infidelity Have In Common?

Last update: 24 November, 2018

When we hear the word “infidelity,” we usually think of physical infidelity.

However, infidelity refers to any lack of loyalty with regards to any kind of commitment that they have expressed or accepted.

The most common type is sexual infidelity. However, there can also be emotional, economic, religious or other types of infidelity.

In spite of everything, there are couples who survive infidelity. Why do they do this? How do they deal with the situation?

We’ll take a look at the answers to these question in this article.

After infidelity there are options

When you discover your partner hasn’t been loyal, the most difficult thing is to deal with the anger that ensues.

You have to accept that you’ve been betrayed, and overcome the sadness and disappointment. Breach of trust in a relationship can lead to a break up or divorce.

There are some couples who survive infidelity, and they even have a higher sense of security and strength than before.

Any couple who’s gone through such a situation has a long rehabilitation process ahead of them if they wish to continue together.

It’s important to restore confidence and forgive each other to overcome the situation, gradually healing the wounds caused by infidelity.

How do couples who survive infidelity act when they discover what’s happened?

Sexual Infidelity

First of all, the most important thing to consider is how they found out that there had been infidelity in the relationship.

When one person in the relationship confesses that they’ve been unfaithful, it may be because they’re remorseful or because they are worried about hurting their parner.

In any case, simply being honest is the key for couples who survive infidelity. However, this doesn’t mean that anytime there’s infidelity in the relationship the only thing you have to do to make things right is recognize it.

However, if this is the first time, talking honestly makes way for communication which can help unite the couple again.

Another thing is to not get carried away by emotions that force you to make decisions you will regret later. Relying on friends and family is very healthy way to cope with this situation.

Sharing your feelings with the people closest to you allows you to receive objective support that helps to process your emotions.

The importance of looking at what keeps you both together

Next, couples that survive an infidelity are usually mature adults who have children, friends, and lifestyle and economic commitments as a whole.

This doesn’t mean that anything should be accepted just for convenience. However, it’s a fact that these types of links help us carefully analyze our decisions. This means considering the consequences in the short term as well as the long term.

Some couples who have been together for years and have a variety commitments are unable to resist infidelity. However, other couples who are younger and less tied down may feel more prepared.

This isn’t strange or a negative thing. Simply speaking, there are couples who have reached their limit of coexisting with each other.

They create new commitments and work hard to achieve them

New commitments

Next, couples who survive infidelity can build a new relationship based on renewed and fortified forgiveness and mutual trust. The aim is to replace the pain and negative thoughts with a newer, stronger love.

When starting a relationship, there are always implicit behavior norms that make everything go well. When there’s infidelity couples have to talk to each other about their expectations and establish new commitments.

During the first months, it’s normal for the person who was betrayed to test and doubt their partner, but this won’t last forever.

The person in the relationship who was betrayed must avoid constantly checking their partner’s phone. Similarly, the person who wasn’t loyal must, at all costs, avoid repeating the situation and the person who was involved in the act.

The person who was disloyal accepts their mistakes and explains their reasons for doing so

Couples who survive infidelity have participated in an exercise in which the one who has been disloyal assumes responsibility for their actions.

This requires two important things:

  • Being honest with your partner.
  • Cutting off any relationship with the third person involved in the infidelity.

This allows for communication to improve enough in order to identify the reasons behind the infidelity. Then, you can successfully identify the best ways to move forward together.

Speaking openly can be complicated. In case it’s not possible to do it properly, it’s best that you try to find common ground. Remember: this step should never be overlooked.

Couples who survive infidelity seek professional help

Professional help

Receiving help from an expert is a very healthy way to overcome infidelity and take the first steps to move forward. Experts also guide you to the next stage in order to help you and your partner understand the internal reasons behind the infidelity.

  • These experts offer neutral ground for the couple to really recover their stability and explain their feelings.
  • The ideal expert who can help you solve this situation would be a sex therapist, a couple therapist or a psychologist.

Have you and your partner ever survived infidelity? Could you do it? Tell us about your experience!

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  • Abrahamson, I., Hussain, R., Khan, A., & Schofield, M. J. (2012). What helps couples rebuild their relationship after infidelity?. Journal of Family Issues, 33(11), 1494-1519.