How to Think Independently and Boost Self Esteem

January 18, 2019
We should start to think about what's best for our health and not worry about the opinion of others.  We should be true to ourselves and make our own decisions. 

I’ve wasted a lot of time thinking about appearances and what others think. How will I look with this outfit I have on?  Will the neighbors notice that I’ve been fighting with my partner?  It’s time to think independently and worry less about what other think.

On more occasions than we realize, we are depending on others to tell us how to live our lives.  This can be  something that is too egocentric. Shouldn’t people have to worry about their own lives and think independently?

Read: Are you afraid of what they will say? 

Yes, people do need to worry about their own lives.  However,  the principal objectives of some people seems to be to maintain an impeccable appearance so that everyone likes them.

A person needs to feel good inside

woman with short hair sitting in a chair to think independently

It doesn’t do us any good to worry about appearances if passing through the threshold of our own home brings us down.

Suddenly, we’re not a perfect couple, but a marriage on the verge of falling apart.  Now we don’t have a job to boast about, but a boss who we always complain about, doesn’t respect us, and doesn’t pay us what we are worth.

Nevertheless, in spite of all of this, we  go around with a smile.  We lie professing things no more than how we would like them to be in reality.

What are we afraid of? What will they say?  This is an enormous waste of energy.  Everyone has problems. We are imperfect!  We make mistakes, and to learn from them, we have to accept them.

However, instead of this, we try to hide them, living a life full of frustration and unhappiness.  Do we really want to sacrifice our well being to keep up appearances?

Discover:  Do you worry too much about what others think?

It doesn’t matter if a neighbor judges us or if a member of our family judges us.  Everyone tends to criticize what they don’t know.  Maybe it’s because they are seeing reflections of themselves that they don’t actually recognize.

Looking for our happiness is what is really important and doing what makes us feel good.  Even though that implies confronting our different fears, value judgements and criticism that have no value. And, the first step is to think independently.

Let old thoughts go

Like many things in this life, we are surrounded by beliefs that we cling to and we resist letting them go.

It seems that we are, in fact, what we believe. Basically, our beliefs define us.  Also, we think that if we don’t live up to our beliefs, we are committing a terrible mistake.

Read:  Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your actions do

We have to begin to prioritize what we want, look out for our well being, and not do what pleases others.  How can we do all of this? Well, we have to think independently.

1. Let go of your own demands

There are certain things that we have learned since we were little children and they have left an important impression on us.  For example, if we have been reprimanded for talking too much, we probably don’t talk much and listen instead.

What did they tell us that we should do in our childhood?  How did we have to present ourselves?  How did we have to be?  Don’t laugh too much. Don’t jump around.  Keep your clothes clean.  We had to go places that we didn’t want to go.

Why do you have to continue doing all of that?  Before you were under the responsibility of your parents and they told you what to do, but not now.

You can change all of that!

2.  Accept what you would like to do in life and they will accept you

Before getting depressed because everyone judges us or because everyone tries to keep up an impeccable appearance, we have to ask ourselves if we accept what we would like to do or are we limiting ourselves.

For example, I want to get divorced but I don’t do it because of what they would say.  However, it’s what I want!  I am limiting myself.  I don’t accept my own decision.  In addition, I don’t put what I want in first place.

We have to begin to prioritize our decisions.  This way we will notice that people don’t judge us as much as what we think.  Who cares if they do!

Don’t forget to read: Don’t worry about someone who judges you

Let’s start to think independently.  Give priority to what we want, not to what we should do.  After all, we are in the driver’s seat of our lives.

We can’t lead our lives by our beliefs and fears, and much less by those of others.

  • Imágenes: Katharina Jung, Melania Brescia.