If you have unfinished business with someone, sooner or later you’re bound to find yourself with this person until your resolve it. This will happen until you finally cut the ties and let go of misunderstandings, weights, and sadness.
In one way or another, we all have something that didn’t turn out. A past event is like a distant flare. It brings with it the flash of a memory, a word, or an element.
Psychoanalysis tells us that people usually “bury” some traumatic or uncomfortable events. We do this in an older level of our mind.
However, this is far from locking it up in the darkest corner of our mind’s closet. These events from our past rise like smoke through a chimney. They’re like water that overflows in a bath tub. They leave an undetectable impact on the present we live in.
It’s not easy. The things you leave unresolved follow you. They affect your personality and emotions.
For example, we could talk about a loving relationship that ended without a goodbye or even an explanation.
We’re also talking about complex bonds with some people you know. These could be friends that you let go. These bonds could be affected by unsaid words or by situations you ran away from out of fear or indecision.
We want you to think about this.
How to accept the past and live without unfinished business
Unfinished business is like a barrier on your life path.
This is one of the most common psychological problems. It also causes us to focus a certain amount of sadness, bitterness, and even nostalgia.
Now, we want to tell you how you should confront these very common situations.
Weighed down with too much baggage: learn to lighten your load
Right now, we could tell you that the best thing to do to resolve your unfinished business is to make a call, a visit, to see this person and talk.
However, we know that this isn’t always possible.
We can’t because, sometimes, there are people that we can’t or don’t to see again. (It could be because they cause us too much pain.)
It’s also not possible because it’s not always easy to find those who hurt us or who we let down.
What should we do in these cases? Well, the first thing is to know that all unfinished business gets resolved in the most important place first: inside ourselves.
Find balance in your mind and emotions. This is the first step for getting rid of the weight of unfinished business.
Get rid of baggage
To get rid of this baggage, you can help ourselves with these phrases. With them, you can promote an internal awakening to get new perspectives.
- I’m not the person that hurt me. I’m much more than my wounds and failures.
- The past shouldn’t make me a slave to the present.
- If I made errors yesterday, I should learn from them to have a worthwhile today.
- Unfinished business should end once and for all. It should become finished business so that the here and now can give me better opportunities.
How to accept the past to live in the present
As we said, unfinished business should always be resolved inside you first.
Only when you have gotten rid of your anger can you get close to this person. This will let you have a final conversation to cut ties and let them go.
Only when you are calm inside will you notice that this unfinished business isn’t as important as you thought. This is because the most important thing is the present.
We want you to think about this. This way, you’ll finally be able to lock up unfinished business and let go of it for good.
Life is movement
As Mihály Csíkszentmihályi explains in his fluid theory, life is movement. This means letting yourself get carried away by a mind that’s capable of connecting with everyday activity. This lets you appreciate what’s important: the here and now.
Yesterday, unfinished business made part of a past that you learned from. You got a lesson that taught you to be much wiser in the present and to keep going in a mature way.
Have faith in the future
Your past wasn’t easy. However, your present can be resumed in two words: overcoming and courage. Now your future should be a reflection of a beautiful word: hope.
Let go of the things you can’t fix or are already lost. Put all of your energy and confidence into what’s going to come.
The power to change things is in you.
You are the architect of your life. You are the only and most magnificent hero of your story. Don’t allow yourself to be a slave to someone who hurt you. Don’t be a slave to the past.
Lift yourself up with a sense of responsibility to plant strength, optimism, and dignity in your present to be happier.
You have the power to achieve it.
Images courtesy of Pierre Mornet