You can make divorce an opportunity to grow if you see this experience from the right point of view.
However, our tendency is to complain, feel like we’re victims of circumstances and, if we can, blame the other person for the break-up.
Many people are unable to deal with a divorce well. The blaming, the faults, and the anger that was kept inside from a long-time past is now let out.
However, in reality we can make divorce an opportunity to grow if we pay attention to the following tips.
Divorce puts us in a unique situation
To make divorce an opportunity to grow, it’s necessary that we stop seeing it as a disgrace and begin to see it as a new way forward. It’s an opportunity to close the door to a past that can annoy us and learn that the past should stay there.
When a couple breaks up, we have the great opportunity to be able to forgive the other person and also forgive ourselves for the mistakes of the past.
Moreover, divorce will test our resentment. Are we spiteful? How much spite can we keep inside? It’s a situation that allows us to know ourselves better and let go of weights that can make us bitter.
Don’t forget that you’re starting a new chapter. You can do new things, start new projects, meet new people… The situation could not be better to invoke positive change.
Now you know what you want or not from a relationship. You’re also aware that relationships end, that the belief in “for life” does more harm than good and promotes unhealthy attachment.
To make divorce an opportunity to grow, you must deal with loneliness
Often, loneliness is the greatest enemy. However, to make divorce an opportunity to grow, we have to look it in the face.
That feeling of “I’m going to be alone forever,” “I won’t find anyone else who loves me” is encouraged by the tendency to seek happiness in relationships.
We believe that having a partner is a goal that will take us to the height of happiness and we forget that many people choose to be single, or have many relationships that are not “for life” and are equally happy.
Loneliness causes such panic that we begin to suffer emotional dependency and often cling to harmful people who undermine our self-esteem and manipulate us.
Divorce is an excellent opportunity to confront this great fear and enjoy the single life in every sense.
Why not travel alone? What if you join that course where you don’t know anyone? Why don’t you try to go out with your friends just for enjoyment and not to “see if I can find someone”?
The responsibility for children
If you want to make divorce an opportunity to grow, you can’t forget the children. Many people don’t divorce because they want their children to grow up in a close-knit family. This is a mistake.
Divorce can be a great act of love, to prevent children witnessing fighting or a lack of love or respect between their parents.
It’s important that you bear your children in mind and, above all, don’t use them against your partner.
Divorce can be a great opportunity for growth in every way: personal, work, family…
We shouldn’t see divorce as a disgrace. If a relationship has not worked, no problem! It would be worse not to realize this and try to continue in an unbearable situation.
Experiences that we consider the most negative are those that we can draw the most positive learning experiences from. So, make the most of it.