Time Doesn’t Erase Things, It Puts Them In Their Place
Unlike the common phrase, time doesn’t erase things like bad memories by itself. Complicated experiences don’t solve themselves within just a few months or years.
Time is not a passive agent that acts as an eraser, getting rid of anything unpleasant. That’s because the passage of time is connected to your mind, especially your particular way of creating your reality.
A mind that obsesses over traumatic events is incapable of moving forward, even after 5 or 10 years. When you cling to something, time does not pass by.
You need to understand that what the pages on the calendar will do is, as the months go by, put everything in its place.
The things that hurt you should stay in the past, and stop bothering you. Things that are important, that give you strength, energy and bring you happiness, those things should be your partner every day throughout your entire life journey.
Today, we’d like to give you a few simple strategies for making your memory your best lifesaver. Your best weapon for healing your wounds.
Time and memory, the best sculptors
Memory and neuroscience experts tell us that the more you evoke a memory, the more you modify it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you change it, or that you completely change its original image.
But what happens is that the more you hold on to an image of the past, be it good or bad, the more you intensify its emotions, and the more it affects you. The more it modifies your present.
Let’s use a classic example: an emotional break-up. Even though 5 or 10 years have passed, you keep going back to your yester-years, regretting, maybe for not fighting enough, or for not being what the other person wanted.
When your mind starts to cling to one very concrete point in your past, you stop investing in yourself in a full, and healthy way.
- The past is not a scene where you can start your own battles, where you can sink your energy into. The past simply does not exist. But the present, the here and now, is what you can touch and see.
- You need to put everything in its place. Time is what helps you do this, combined with your own will and wisdom.
Every person in their due place, every memory in its own moment
People spend their days remembering things. We are the result of our experiences, our educations, our societies and our own emotions and values. We have integrated them into our minds over the course of the years.
You could say that time itself is what has molded you. But this image would give a rather passive image to you.
Because the truth is, what you are today is created by your own interpretations that you have formed from everything seen and lived. You are not passive agents.
- The same moment lived by two different people at the same time is experienced in two different ways.
- It’s common for two siblings, who were raised in the same family environment, to remember the same thing differently.
- If any person clings to a traumatic event forever, their life will be anchored to the past, to the point of losing the present.
- But the other sibling, on the other hand, could overcome this event, thanks to a more combative attitude. They are able to leave certain things from the past behind, overcoming them to create a more wholesome present moment, with strength and courage.
Use your memory like a trampoline, not like a sofa
Time doesn’t cure you if you don’t look for medicine. Time does not edit the bad moments in your life to transform them into good ones. Time only makes the days, months, and years go by.
You are the one that has to fill life with movement, significant, happy and full moments. That’s why you need to use your memory like a trampoline, not like a sofa.
- If something hurt you in the past, don’t hold on to that anger. Don’t hate. Be capable of closing that wound to focus on the important things: living and being happy.
- If you feed on your memories, your well-being is centered on the past, and you are chained to a sense of self that is not real. The here and now is what is important, and this is your real self. This is what you should pamper and tend to every moment of every day.
Make your memory an incentive, the reason for fighting for your present.