We all make many mistakes, but there are some very grave ones that we’re often not aware of at the end of a relationship.
Some of them are inevitable. Emotions play tricks on us and we also depend a lot on the circumstances we’re in to put an end to the relationship.
After all, ending a relationship because the love is gone or the passion has been definitely extinguished is not the same as if there has been an infidelity or a very painful betrayal.
Today, we’ll take a look at three mistakes we make at the end of a relationship. Familiarizing ourselves with them and reflecting on them will help you not to commit them again and to see the situation from new perspectives.
1. You’re not able to turn the page
One of the biggest mistakes you can make at the end of a relationship is to keep your ex-partner someone important and present in your life.
It’s difficult to get rid of someone with whom you have shared experiences and even years of your life. You’ve become accustomed to their presence and both of you will have adopted certain routines. Now that they’re not there, you feel like you’re on a tightrope.
However, the sooner you turn the page the better. You have to accept that the relationship is over, that there is no going back and that your life goes on. You have a lot to experience!
Staying anchored in the past will cause you to suffer in vain and not be able to continue enjoying life. So how can you act to change this situation?
- You have time for yourself, so take advantage of it. Do everything that you didn’t do with your partner, look for new hobbies, go out more with your friends and see more of your family.
- Adopt new routines such as walking or running very early in the morning, having a coffee alone in that cafe that you like so much while reading the newspaper … Whatever!
- Think of yourself, take care of yourself and love yourself. It’s a mistake to believe that your ex-partner will keep an eye on you. Why don’t you start being aware of yourself? You’ve probably forgotten a bit about yourself since you’ve been in a relationship.
2. You expect something from your ex-partner
At the end of a relationship you may not be aware of it, but you expect something to be returned to you by your ex-partner. It may be some small proof that your ex-partner had really loved you when they were with you, that they intend to keep contact or that they care about you.
This is nothing more than the huge fear you have of letting go. The big mistake of expecting something from the other person is that you don’t give them the time they need to go through their own grief.
You may keep talking to them, you may share their feelings and, without realizing it, you overwhelm them.
It’s clear that you need to express yourself with someone who understands you. However, both of you need to be alone and let go in order to move forward.
Imagine that your ex-partner has no interest in listening to you. Think if they did the same to you, would you be bored by what they wanted to tell you?
Keep all this in mind, because perhaps your intention to wait for something is the result of your sadness at the end of the relationship.
3. Your ex is the protagonist in your conversations
Another of the big mistakes at the end of a relationship is to keep your ex as the main subject of all your conversations.
It’s clear that you have to vent and talk about the subject. But is repeating it a thousand times really going to help? Is it a good idea to complain about what can no longer be solved?
Doing this will prevent you from getting over the break up by keeping someone present who is no longer part of your life.
Another way to keep your ex-partner present is to cling to everything that reminds you of them. A serious mistake that will make your pain last.
Have you committed any of these mistakes at the end of a relationship? Trying not to fall into these traps will reduce the time you need to get over a break up.
Let’s stop clinging to something that’s over. It’ll only hurt us.