Those who are no longer with us always remain in our hearts. In that corner where we guard our most precious things, they will rest eternally.
Accepting the loss of someone we love, their death, is something that’s hard for everyone, and it forces you to go through a number of things that nothing in life has prepared you for.
Let’s talk about this process in today’s article.
Learning to say goodbye
How can you say goodbye to someone who, until just a moment ago, was by your side? Death has no rhyme or reason, and knows nothing of time.
Sometimes death claims people who haven’t had the chance to “fully live” their lives, like young people with hundreds of thousands of experiences still ahead of them. And yet, they are taken, leaving a void where they once had been.
Death should at least give you the opportunity to say goodbye. It should be like a train station where you can offer a farewell to your loved ones, have one last long and intense embrace, and say those words that are so often left unsaid only to become the source of regret and sorrow.
But because this is not how life is, you have to adapt and understand that first of all, no one lives forever. We’re only on this earth for a short period of time. That’s why you need to live every single day to the fullest.
Every night you should try to go to bed without anything unspoken, without anger and frustration that keeps you awake tossing and turning, and never forgetting to tell someone “I love you.”
Seize every moment you can to spend with your family, sharing happiness with them in every breath you take.
Now that we’ve clarified this essential aspect of life, let’s review some of the guidelines for coping with the loss of a loved one.
No doubt you are familiar with the process of grieving and mourning, the emotional process that follows any loss, be it through a breakup or the death of a loved one.
It’s important to remember that coping with loss is a necessary step to managing your emotions. People who choose to “bury” themselves instantly in their normal routine without acknowledging their pain can wind up in serious emotional trouble down the road.
Let’s learn about the stages of grief:
How can you accept that your partner or loved one is gone? How can you accept that you’ll never see your mother, sister, or soul mate again? Grief is a complicated process, and this first stage is based on the emotional impact of your loss, which you cannot fully comprehend.
2. Anger or even indifference
It’s important to point out that not everyone reacts the same way. Some people will be outwardly angry and full of rage, some will turn their anger inwards toward themselves, and others will direct their hatred at God. But there are also people who shut off their emotions, completely unable to cry, mourn, or “talk about it.”
This is the stage of grief where you begin to accept certain things. The accident, the disease…it happened and it doesn’t get you anywhere to be angry with the world. Now you’re able to talk about it with others, observe how they get through their days, and accept that indeed, that person is no longer with you.
Here the pain reappears in all its cruel strength, and because it is so raw you must express it, live it, and unburden yourself as often as you need. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you not to cry, because that’s what you need to do to channel your emotions in a healthy way.
See also Crying is good for your health
Believe it or not, acceptance will come. You will come to accept the loss and the emptiness, and while you know that your life will never be the same it must go on. You will continue on your path without forgetting.
Remember that the people you love will live forever in your memory, and there’s no doubt that they’re happy to see you open your eyes and heart again to the world.
Keys to maintaining your strength and cherishing good memories
- Please note that if your grieving process lasts longer than six months and you still find yourself overcome by sadness, or haven’t regained your ability to resume daily activities, you should seek professional help. This is very important.
- Day by day, your routines, family, and friends will be your best support system. Gradually you’ll begin to hurt a little less, and you should never feel guilty about that.
Why? Because the memory of that person will always live within you. They become part of you, of who you are, your body and mind and soul. Nothing bad will happen when you begin to smile again, because your loved one is behind each of those smiles, and they would cherish the fact that you’ve begun to find happiness again.
- Don’t obsess over the last few days or weeks or months, the memory of the illness, accident, or divorce. Every day you should try to bring back the good memories, the love you shared, every kind and sincere word…in other words, focus on positive emotions.
- Life is a journey, and every moment counts. What happens in the past creates who you are today, so that person becomes part of the essence of your life. You carry them with you now, and you’ll do so forever. Learn to live your life again with hope, because all the love you’ve felt in the past also makes you who you are now…